The West Wing revisited: Jed Bartlet = Michael Scott?
Welcome back to Khiero Magazine’s The West Wing recap, where we ponder the old Cold War in the shadow of the new one
Guys, what even is this show? Last week I said The West Wing was like that episode of Mad Men with the lawnmower snafu. The week before that I said it was half romcom, half Greek tragedy — and that the show split those genres along gender lines. This week, I have a new take: The West Wing is an hour-long workcom.
For those who don’t spend every weekend at the Paley Center for Media, sitcoms are divided into shows that focus on home life — called “domcoms” — and those that focus on the protagonist’s place of business — aka “workcoms”. There are shows that do both, like The Dick Van Dyke Show, but most are either Everybody Loves Raymond or Cheers. The West Wing, like M*A*S*H before it, is a sappy workcom that has SOME OPINIONS it’d like to share. How do I know this is a workcom and not a prestige drama? This episode (S1E5, “The Crackpots and These Women”) has a Cold Open. A dumb Cold Open about b-ball.
Many shows have a pre-credits scene, one that lets you know what kind of a show you’re watching. Dramas don’t have Cold Opens — they have Teasers. Their purpose is to tease all the sex and murders and sexy murders to follow. Cold Opens are like short comedy films that run before the long comedy film. They frequently have nothing to do with the rest of the episode. Cold Opens on The Office were often Jim pranks that had little impact on the rest of the plot. This West Wing Cold Open — in which Pres. Bartlet brings a ringer from the Duke University basketball team to play pickup ball against his ungrateful sons Toby, Charlie and Sam — reminds me very much of The Office. Specifically the episode with the basketball game against the warehouse dudes. It’s goofy.
Also goofy/troubling is this episode’s title. “The Crackpots and These Women” refer to two marginalized groups of people: the nutbars who come to the White House for “Big Block of Cheese Day,” and all the women who work there on a regular basis. The title kind of conflates the two. Women are crackpots? Their input is to be outwardly dismissed then quietly internalized, like CJ and Sam do with their crackpots later in the ep.
Big Block of Cheese Day might be The West Wing’s most lasting contribution to American political-pop culture, besides the walk-and-talk. The West Wing Weekly dubbed their listener Q&A episodes “Big Block of Cheese Day,” and the Obama administration even did online versions. Every month, higher-ups in the Bartlet administration are supposed to swing open the doors to their offices and meet with John Q. Public about aliens, or whatever. Leo says he got the idea from noted genocider Andrew Jackson.
“Andrew Jackson, in the main foyer of his White House had a big block of cheese,” he says. “The block of cheese was huge — over two tons. And it was there for any and all who might be hungry.”
In the spirit of Andrew Jackson, Leo wants to invite groups of people who don’t normally get to speak with White House officials to come by, eat some cheese, and eradicate the Cherokee. Jkjkjk Leo just wants people to come through. He doesn’t even provide cheese. Most of the senior staff consider it a huge waste of time.
We only see Sam and CJ’s meetings for this BBOCD, and they don’t go super well. Sam meets with the Ted, the sadsack lawyer from Scrubs, to talk about UFO’s. Ted says an unidentified object is flying over the Pacific Ocean. Sam is dismissive, glib and horrible. Almost like he’s talking to a sex worker again. He offers Ted a commemorative pen, saying, “I hope that you don’t feel that you’ve wasted your time.” And yet, for the rest of the episode, Sam checks in with his assistant to see if the thing is still flying over the Pacific.
CJ meets with three people trying to get Congress to fund a 900 million dollar highway for wolves. She’s slightly less terrible to her people, even though they are woefully inaccurate about wolf mating habits and are deserving of ridicule. On the plus side, one of the wolf kooks is an under-moustached Nick Offerman.
Josh doesn’t have any BBOCD meetings. Instead, he’s given a card with instructions for where to go in case of a nuclear emergency. Apparently he’s in the inner inner circle, the group of folks who will accompany the president into the post-apocalypse. When Josh realizes he’s invited to survive the end of the world but his staff is not, he freaks. He goes to therapy for the first time since Bartlet was elected and has an emotional monologue about his dead sister. Again, I’m reminded of M*A*S*H, specifically the famous, “It was a baby, not a chicken!” speech from the series finale. It’s sweet that Josh doesn’t want to abandon his friends at the end of the world, but he’s got 18 more years before that actually happens.
“It’s not gonna be the red bomb and nuclear bombs,” Josh says.
He thinks it will be germ warfare instead of a Cold War suddenly turned very hot. Fingers crossed.
Meanwhile, Toby is worried that that the prez doesn’t really love him. They’ve been beefin’ since the basketball game, and now Mandy has blabbed that Toby was not the first pick for Communications Director. Mandy is trying to get Bartlet to go to a fundraiser for some hotshot Hollywood producer (yikes, topical), while Toby thinks it’s inappropriate to accept money from someone who produces such violent/terrible schlock.
All the threads come together when the president makes everyone come to the residence for chili. His daughter Zoey (Elizabeth Moss before she was everywhere) is in town, and he wants to celebrate. Charlie and Zoey meet cute, and I’m all about it. They spice the chili together, which is not a metaphor. Yet.
Everybody squashes their beef at the chili cookoff. (Get it? Beef is in chili. I’m very funny, tell your friends.) The president tells Toby he loves him very much and that he needs Toby around to keep him honest. Josh gives back his get-out-of-apocalypse-free card, and Sam gets closure on his UFO. Turns out it was a falling Russian satellite.
The episode is capped by a truly strange salute to the women of the White House by Leo and Bartlet.
Josh: So, what were you guys talking about?
Bartlet: We were talking about these women.
Josh: Yeah?
Bartlet: Look at C.J. She’s like a ’50s movie star, so capable, so loving and energetic.
Leo: Look at Mandy over there. Going punch for punch with Toby in a world that tells women to sit down and shut up. Mandy’s already won her battle with the president. The game’s over, but she’s not done. She wants Toby.
Bartlet: Mrs. Landingham. Did you guys know she lost two sons in Vietnam? What would make her want to serve her country is beyond me, but in 14 years, she’s not missed a day’s work, not one. There’s Cathy, Donna, and Margaret.
We don’t hear the president extol the virtues of Cathy, Donna and Margaret because that’s when Josh pledges to die with these women. The speech is …fine. It’s fine. Men can talk about women and what rocks about them.
Thing is, they were not just talking about these women. They were talking to CJ about wolves. She excuses herself from the conversation when Josh shows up, Josh asks what they (including CJ) were talking about, and Bartlet says they were talking about CJ. CJ’s participation in the conversation is completely erased. The story of the conversation goes from CJ talking about her wolf encounter with Leo and Bartlet listening, to Bartlet and Leo talking about CJ and how “capable” and “loving” she is.
Did their inner monologues drown out her speech?
I have had people talk about me while I was in the room; it’s not fun. Even if the things being said are glowing, I’d rather just be addressed like a person who is capable of speech. Now more than ever, we need to make sure women are active participants in the conversations about them. Listen when we talk. And give us some cheese.
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