The West Wing Revisited: What happened to you, man? You used to be cool.
Welcome to Kheiro Magazine’s West Wing recap, where we finally get a president that isn’t a jerkwad.
This episode of The West Wing is about getting a Supreme Court justice nominee through an opposition Congress. So, speculative fiction. I think it’s really brave of Sorkin to bend and blend genres like this. It reminds me of the end of St. Elsewhere when it turned out the whole show had been imagined by an autistic child staring into a snow globe.
We open on Josh and CJ locking down Bartlet’s presumptive nominee: a high-credentialed jar of mayo named Peyton Cabot Harrison III. “Jewish fellow?” quips Donna. The boys (Josh, Sam and Toby) run through the halls demanding people call them “da man.” Luckily they only do this to the president and his secretary, Mrs. Landingham (Kathryn Joosten), not Charlie. Everyone is excited because Harrison’s appointment is a guaranteed slam dunk, and the administration could really use one of those right now.
“Nothing could go wrong in this best of all possible worlds!” yells Josh as he dons giant wings made of wax.
On the subplot tip, yet another raggumfraggum GOP pundit is throwing shade at the Bartlet admin. Honestly, I feel like you can’t play a Republican on this show if you haven’t played one of the Ewells in a regional theater production of To Kill a Mockingbird. Rep. Bob Ewell (okay fine it’s actually Lillienfield but for this recap we’re going with “Ewell”) claims that 1 in 3 WH staffers are drug users.
“And in case there should be any confusion about my meaning, I’m not talking about aspirin or decongestants,” he adds theatrically.
The accusation is patently absurd, yet CJ can’t say that. In a rare example of two female characters talking down to their male coworkers, she and Mandy Onlyinthefirstseason explain why to Josh and Toby.
CJ: Because more than 1,300 people work for the White House, Josh. I go to the Press Room and categorically deny that anyone uses drugs, and it turns out that three guys in the photo lab blew a joint over the weekend — which is not, like, out of the realm of possibility. And my next question is —
Mandy: But you categorically denied it, now you admit there are three.
CJ: Yes. Well, I categorically deny that there are any more than three.
Mandy: But now it seems that the assistant to the deputy director of White House beverages is confessing to a life of a closet junkie.
CJ: Yes, and I understand she’s selling her story to Random House for a middle six-figure advance.
Toby: [with his head against the wall] All right. Are we done with Masterpiece Theater?
CJ and Mandy are working on the assumption that they are beholden to objective truth. It stands in stark contrast with the press secretaries in our real world administration. Today, categorical denial is the standard move, regardless of what evidence is presented. Again, The West Wing is a sci-fi workplace comedy, like Futurama.
Also, Danny’s still tryna smash. He volunteers to explain a basketball game to CJ, which I’m sure he intended as ironic chauvinism but doesn’t really feel that way since he just told her how to do her actual job. He literally just told her she needs him to explain how to do her job, then makes a joke about how men explain sports to women and that sucks amirite ladies?
In exchange for info on Rep. Not-a-fancy-big-city-lawyer’s drug scandal, Josh tells Danny that CJ likes goldfish. So Danny buys her a goldfish. Thing is, CJ likes the cheesy cracker, not the animal. Charmed by his incompetence, CJ kisses Danny on the cheek and this story gets prolonged another week.
Back to the judge stuff! The outgoing justice gives Bartlet a “What happened to you, man? You’ve changed” talk, which the Democrats should maybe take to heart.
“You ran great guns in the campaign. It was an insurgency, boy, a sight to see. And then you drove to the middle of the road the moment after you took the oath. Just the middle of the road. Nothing but a long line painted yellow,” he says. “American voters like guts. And Republicans have got them. In the three years, one of them is gonna beat you.”
Outgoing Justice accuses Bartlet of not even looking at Mendoza, a less-acclaimed but more woke potential nominee. Mendoza is played by Edward James Olmos, so he’s got my vote. The dig gets under Bartlet’s skin and he asks Toby to give Mendoza a second look.
A paper surfaces that Justice White Bread III wrote in law school, arguing that privacy isn’t a constitutionally-protected right. Sam sees this as a reason to cancel the nomination.
“The next two decades, it’s gonna be privacy,” he says. “I’m talking about the Internet. I’m talking about cell phones. I’m talking about health records, and who’s gay and who’s not. And moreover, in a country born on a will to be free, what could be more fundamental than this?”
He’s right. Finance reform and privacy are the fundamental issues of our generation, because all other problems flow from them. This time, The West Wing is a documentary.
Harrison Greely III is invited to the White House to explain himself. Sam cross-examines the justice, and we come to understand that he is definitely still an originalist and definitely not cool with being questioned. (Speaking of originalist judges, Gorsuch is allegedly such an insufferable know-it-all that other justices are leaking drama to the press.) He’s asked to wait in the Mural Room while Edward James Olmos takes his job.
This scene in the Mural Room, what is it for? Charlie sits and watches Harrison pace. Harrison tells Charlie to get him a coffee, and also that Charlie looks familiar to him. Charlie says he caddied at his club for two summers. Harrison’s like “oh yeah duh,” and Charlie gets his coffee. Why do we see this? Why is it important to know that Charlie caddied for Harrison? Harrison is perfectly cordial to Charlie, Charlie doesn’t seem irked to be in his presence. What gives? Are we supposed to dislike Harrison for not remembering Charlie’s face out of context? And what does Charlie actually think of Harrison? I want him to tell the president what kind of country club member this dude is. Gossip from service industry workers should be an intrinsic part of any vetting process, in my opinion. I need the tea from his caddy, his wife’s esthetician, his kids’ nanny. Use these whisper networks to their fullest potential.
While all this privacy debating is going on, Josh has been looking into the whole drug thing. He has to become the narc, and he hates it. Josh figures out that Rep. This-Is-Your-Brain-On-Drugs-Any-Questions is sniffing around Leo’s substance abuse issues. We’ve known since “Five Votes Down” that Leo is a recovering alcoholic, but he is also getting over a pill problem. Again, prescient for 1999. The opioid crisis was in its nascent stages back then. Leo is thinking about resigning to save face for the prez, but Josh and Jed aren’t having it. All the plots (except Danny’s mansplaining boner) converge when Toby asks Mendoza what he’d think of someone getting fired for not taking a drug test at the order of the president. Mendoza says “Without showing cause, I would say that the order constitutes an illegal search, and I would order that the employee be reinstated.” And with that, the personal becomes political and Mendoza is now the nominee.
What’s Next: It’s a very West Wing Christmas!
