Cut The Crap: A Short Irreverent Piece of Advices For Lazy Founders

Oh yes you are lazy! You just looked up to see how long it would take to read that piece, that’s how lazy you are. Just switch to your inbox for 10 seconds and look at how many things you could have done yesterday that are still pending for no legitimate reason. That’s how lazy you are. You want to hire and manage the best people but you didn’t take the time to read or listen to a single piece of good advice on how to… Despite the fact that you know how critical this is.

Yes, that’s how lazy you are.
Oh but wait, we’re all lazy.

Otherwise, Billions of people would not connect everyday on Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter… scrolling infinitely until they get distracted by work or someone else! But you know what, that’s ok as long as you don’t get sucked up by distraction and choose the right moments for those things.

But the rest of the time, please, just cut the crap and make things happen. Here is a quick antipasti of ridiculously obvious and basic advices, in no particular order.

Obvious Basics

You know nothing Jon Snow. Everything is learnt at some point, through theory, practice, experiments, observation… Even the most obvious and simple things! Start learning again.

Voodoo Method For Hiring

Hell no! Keep your gut feeling for tonight when you’ll have to choose between frogs’ legs or snails. This is not how you hire someone. Also, you don’t throw a job position on social networks with a ridiculous “Team of Jedis looking for awesome Padawans to change the world” statement, No way!

You read that book: Who, The A Method For Hiring. Then you apply the method and you go get those talents.

Free Soda for Everyone!

Seriously? Culture is not about the perks, the cool attitude or the fancy posters on the wall, culture is about how much you care about the people and the customers. Ok, you know what, start by reading this: Delivering happiness.

Obviously Binary

0.99^365 = 0,03
1.01^365= 37,78

There is not such things as a steady flat state of things in a company, you either progress or regress, go up or go down. Apply this to everything in your company.

I Think That…

Oh no you don’t. Right now you have tons of things to do, your “get shit done” list if full of items. First, clean the space around you, build consistency and discipline within your schedule. Then you can allow yourself to think, to find some time to reflect on what’s going on.

This One Time

Book an appointment with the oracle and just follow the path towards your awesome destiny… Not. You don’t know when and how it’s going to happen but you will have the chance to build extraordinary connections with few people in your life, for the better. Sometimes you will connect only few instant but the impact of a little gesture can change the entire course of your destiny as well. Stay aware (not like Jean-Claude Vandamme), connect with the right people.

Dyscalculia

Unless you really suffer from dyscalculia and in that case, you really need someone alongside with you to help you with that, you should master your numbers! Analytics, business model, sales equilibrium, variable costs, fixed costs, working capital! This is something that anyone can learn and master in less than a month, part time. Just do it, investors are really tired and pissed off about how poorly entrepreneurs master numbers.

Layer Cakes

They are great on pictures but nobody wants to eat them! Your job is to turn complicated things, processes and overall backend shits into a simple, smooth, incredible experience for the end users. every new feature you plan to release is a good reason to simplify one more time the overall experience. don’t pile up the layers, it’s disgusting.

Respect your karma

You’re not a jerk are you? Treat people with respect, I don’t care how much pressure you have on your shoulders. If you’re a good kid, generous, ambitious, talented, don’t worry you’ll make it. Just breathe, meditate, do that yoga, pilate or whatever stretch class your mate told you about. You can be very tough, but you can’t be an asshole.

Sales Magic

Have you ever heard of the prince of sales or the guardian of magic leads or Merlin the sales magician? Me neither. Thousands of companies are competing at any single moment to put their product out there in the hands of people who will ultimately pay for it! No magic will sell your product. Build a team, be performance-driven, put this whole sales process together and sell!

That’s it for today. Stay tuned for Part 2 :)

PS: I love you