Tragedy strikes and technology keeps family close…but how close is too close when it comes to teens? Written from a Nannie’s perspective.
I guess before 2011 I didn’t really need technology to communicate with my four grandchildren because they lived around the corner from me in Christchurch.
But all of that changed on 22 February 2011 when Christchurch was hit by a 6.3 earthquake and our lives shifted forever.
My grandchildren all attended Discovery School in the inner city of Christchurch. They, as usual, were at school when the earthquake struck at 12.51 p.m. I was at my job at the Princess Margaret Hospital on the other side of Christchurch.
My first thought, once we had gotten all the patients out of the hospital and safely planted them on the hill behind the building, was “oh my God, the kids are in the city”. I immediately got into my car, drove to my daughter’s house, went in to see if anyone was home, then left to try and get to my home on the other side of town…all the while, texting and trying to phone on my cell. But all networks were down and there was no way of contacting my daughter, son in law or the school to see if the kids were OK. Then started a four hour marathon of driving through smashed roads, liquefaction and complete chaos to finally reach my little house that had been shaken and rocked from its piles.
Hours passed, and it was getting dark before I found out that everyone was safe and making their way home along with most of the population of Christchurch. Phew!
Two days after the February 22nd earthquake, my daughter, son in law and children drove out of Christchurch for good!
They were offered a place to stay in Central Otago and even though I kept hoping and praying for over a year that they would come back to Christchurch, they never did and probably never will. Their home is now Wanaka. Hence my relationship with my grandchildren became one of phone calls, and later interaction on the internet.
For the first couple of years it was just phone calls, until the two eldest children became teenagers and had Facebook accounts. So of course, what did Nannie do? Added them as friends!
Harmless I thought! Of course they would want to be ‘friends’ with their beloved Nannie on Facebook, who missed them so much and was desperate to still be a part of their lives. WRONG!
Apparently, 15 and 17 year olds don’t want their baby photos being posted on Facebook with them being ‘tagged’ in the photos. I didn’t realise at the time, that ALL their Facebook friends would see said photos. Lol! No, apparently, they weren’t laughing out loud to see countless photos of them at all stages of their childhood, plastered on Facebook. I for one cannot understand why not! They are gorgeous photos, funny photos, cute photos. Yes, there may have been the odd one of Luis wearing his sister’s fairy costume, and her new purple fluffy jersey and hat along with his mother’s high heel boots! I didn’t see anything wrong with the hilarious baby photos of said 15 year old girl, wearing just a nappy, toddling around the garden!
But apparently, according to the teenagers, “it is NOT ‘swag’, Nannie”.
Once I posted a comment that was not to said 15 year old’s liking, and I wondered why I couldn’t see any of her posts any more, I thought maybe she had suspended her Facebook account. Months later, while staying in Wanaka, I asked said 15 year old if she didn’t have a Facebook page any more, and much to my surprise and disappointment, she told me that she “BLOCKED ME”!
What??? Blocked your Nannie, your Nannie that loves you and is desperate for any bit of news, gossip, swag, photo, anything… anything to be able to keep in contact and see what she was doing at school, with her friends etc?
That was when it became clear to me that, as a Nannie, one has to keep every ounce of decorum and grace, when one is friends on Facebook with one’s grandchildren. No more posting baby photos, no more posting comments that may not be ‘swag’. Just be thankful you are unblocked Nannie, and pull your head in where Facebook is concerned.
I don’t think grandchildren, especially grandchildren who live a long way from their grandparents, can understand how important it is for them to still include the ‘old’ people in their lives, in their lives!
Personally, I think they should feel lucky and grateful that their grandparent has learned to become computer savvy, and wants to be a part of their lives. I’m working on that.
Written by Linda McSkimming
Apart from embarrassing her children and grandchildren with baby photos whenever possible, Linda grew up in the small town of Whyndam, Southland with no technology whatsoever. She doesn’t like roller skates or butter and misses her seven grandchildren every single day.
