Why It’s Not Always Kind To Be So Nice
And the very real difference between the two.
Like many millennials in the Southeastern United States, I was raised to be nice. Respect authority. Don’t talk back. Be pleasant.
Playing by these rules granted me rave reviews from adults for most of my life.
“Wow, she is so well-behaved.”
“What a sweet girl!”
Little me loved being liked and associated this praise with love. Thus, the habit continued.
Until four years ago, when I saw the gaping hole in this philosophy. I was empty and exhausted after a lifetime of looking out for others and vying for their respect.
Then, the life-changing question emerged… What is the point of niceness if I’m not considered?
Expectations and the side effects:
Living up to the silent expectations of others wasn’t sustainable. It turns out it wasn’t kind either.
“If you just set out to be liked, you would be prepared to compromise on anything at any time, and you would achieve nothing.”
— Margaret Thatcher
You become hyperaware of who you think your parents want you to be, your partner, friends, bosses, and the list…
