Turning your network into your net worth.
5 Ways to Build a Strong Network, and Improve the Quality of Your Relationships.
Networking is muscle memory. Some people are naturally born more charismatic, better looking, and charming. You know who I’m talking about, maybe you’re one of them. The people that light up the room when they walk in, make the Thanksgiving toast, or get the most likes at the pool party on Instagram.
Don’t let them fool you. Sure, it may seem like they’re having fun as the life of the party, but these surface level social interactions only go as deep as their second application of sunscreen. You can develop and foster the skills to build an amazing network. I’m talking about meaningful, interpersonal relationships that create long-term, win/win opportunities. It takes persistence, practice and willingness to put the work into networking.
1. Put Yourself Out There
This is no secret. In order to meet people you need to be willing to put yourself out there. While I enjoy quality “me time” as much as the next guy, if you want to build a great network you need to get out and meet people. I’m not saying you should attend every networking event in your area, or look at it as another night to go big, but if there’s a birthday party, weekday dinner, or bowling league night, commit to going... at least for 20 minutes. You may fall behind on Peaky Blinders, but otherwise you have nothing to lose and so much to gain. If you meet one new person, consider that a win.
“Great things are done by a series of small things brought together” — Vincent Van Gogh
2. Listen. Ask Questions. Engage.
People often think of networking as a time to pitch themselves or land new business. “Hi, I’m Jordan, I design and develop technology solutions. Do you need my services?” WRONG. You need to be genuinely interested in what people have to say. Ask them questions about what they do, where they’ve seen success, how they got where they are, what makes them happy, what are their pain points. Dig deeper. Find some similarities and shared interests and let them engage. I repeat, listen.
“There is a difference between listening and waiting for your turn to speak.” — Simon Sinek
3. No Expectations
When it comes to networking, getting “Friend Zoned” should be your goal. The most fulfilling way to build a deeper connection with someone is to have no expectations. Just be present and listen without expecting something in return. Find ways you can help them with the right intentions, or simply be a sounding board for them to bounce ideas. When you engage with the intention of closing a deal or getting some action, you often end up disappointed. This leads to resentment and usually a lost opportunity down the road.
“My expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21. Everything since then has been a bonus.” — Stephen Hawking
4. Make connections
The most valuable aspect of having a strong network is your ability to make quality connections for others. Making an introduction for someone is a selfless act that costs you nothing, but establishing good will and creates value for at least two people. Introductions are usually remembered, and will pay dividends in the long run. They also don’t always need to be people. Share a good tool or software, great book, favorite restaurant, or some new music.
Nothing liberates your greatness like the desire to help, the desire to serve. — Marianne Williamson
5. Follow-up
From my experience, this is where people struggle the most. Between sending a follow-up email, shooting a text, commenting on a social post, calling once in a while, there are so many ways to follow-up in today’s society. Whenever I’m asked the question “How did you land that client?”, my response nine times out of ten is, “I caught up with them over coffee or dinner.” I often scroll through my old text messages and contacts and think about who I should follow-up with, and then send them a nice message, without expectations. It started to become clear to me that this was one of my most valuable tools, so my friend Dylan and I developed KIT List, a simple app to help you Keep In Touch with friends, family, and colleagues.
“The art of love is largely the art of persistence” — Albert Ellis
Have fun and let the good times roll.
- Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed the article :)
