Yeah…me, too.

I was raped three years ago.

The incident itself was horrific, yes, but that was just the beginning. Overcome by self-induced anxiety, shame, and doubt, I was at my most vulnerable. Rather than receiving empathy or support, I was showered in blame, hate, and mockery. My friends abandoned me. My rapist laughed at me. I had never felt so alone, so scared, and so disgusted with myself. I soon fell into a deep depression — I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, and felt like I had nowhere to turn. Unfortunately, this is not a unique story.

When so many of my sources of support collapsed, I was grateful to find help through close family and my therapist — without them, I might not be here today. Just as each #MeToo declaration shows survivors of sexual abuse that they are not alone in their experience, the phrase “I believe you” has a similar effect.

In the words of Tarana Burke, activist and original “Me Too” campaigner, “‘Me Too’ is about using the power of empathy to stomp out shame.”

It’s inspiring to watch our sexist culture shift — to see and hear new stories that bring more and more awareness to the sexual abuse and victim-blaming epidemic that’s been an elephant in the room for way too long. I celebrate this movement that empowers victims to speak out, encourages the community to support each other, and asks people to take responsibility for their actions, especially at a time when the political arena is opening up so many old wounds and emboldening misogyny and intolerance.

However, the exposure and disgrace of Harvey Weinstein, the growing list of other celebrity sexual assault and harassment stories, and the enormity of the #MeToo movement have stirred something up inside of me. It’s frustrating to see that it takes an army of people and a trending hashtag to create a safe space for people to speak up about their experiences. It’s even more disappointing to see that it takes a paradigm shift in the sensibilities of American culture for people to be comfortable replying, “Me, too” and “I believe you.” This is not the first time that a movement against sexual assault and harassment has gone viral, then faded into the background as other things became more important. I believe that the mission behind #MeToo shouldn’t just be a trend — it needs to be the norm, always.

Today, after years of hard work, I am healing. I’m learning to forgive myself and accept the fact that it wasn’t my fault — that I was violated and that I’m not to blame. This is where therapy has been especially helpful.

I’m learning to use mindfulness techniques such as breathing and meditation to bring myself back to the present moment whenever I feel triggered. My therapist and I have grabbed our shovels, and we’re slowly chipping away at the shame that has built up inside of me. This shame develops an insidious nature if it’s left to fester; twisting and turning its way into every nook and cranny of my life; affecting my relationships and rearing its ugly head whenever I skip therapy or neglect my yoga practice.

While I still feel the strong impact of my “Me Too” experience daily, I also know that, with the help of therapy, I am starting to take responsibility for my own happiness. I’m rewriting the end of my story, replacing fear and hopelessness with empowerment and resilience. Most importantly, I am consciously telling myself “I believe you” because, at the time, almost nobody else did.

So please, when somebody else shares their story, believe them, too.

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National Sexual Assault Hotline: Call 1–800–656–4673
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Call 1–800–273–8255