Think Before You Speak — Words Hurt
In a world where everyone seems to be on social media and trolls appear to be an every day occurrence, I find myself thinking about the impact of words and the hidden scars they can leave behind.
I learnt from a very early age that words hurt. I don’t just mean words that are full of vitriol but whole sentences formed to cut you deep.
Sticks and stones
As a child, my school days were full of torment. My bullies would tell me I was fat, mock me for wearing glasses and use my flaws against me.
I soon discovered that the physical torment healed faster than the mental, their words would haunt me in my sleep, play on my mind as I went about my day and influence my actions. Oh how I longed to rip the glasses from my face and pretend that my vision was perfect.
There was even a period of time where I tried throwing my lunches away so that I wouldn’t be fat anymore. Every day I walked with my head down scared of making eye contact and hearing more things about myself.
The wonder years
I might not be at school anymore but those years still travel with me. They still highly influence who I am in the world today. They are the reason I over-explain myself and why I still find it hard walking into a room full of people.
I know I am not alone in carrying around the hurt from years of bullying, And I am sure I am not the only one who plays back the cruel taunts and hurtful words when spiralling into a pit of low self esteem.
“Be mindful when it comes to your words. A string of some that don’t mean much to you, may stick with someone else for a lifetime.” -Rachel Wolchin
It hurts
In a study conducted by psychologists in both the US and Australia, they discovered that emotional pain hurts more than physical pain.
In their paper entitled “When Hurt Will Everyone, everywhere
Everyone, everywhere
When we were little, we were taught to ‘think before we speak’ so why is it that now as adults we sometimes forget to do this.
At some point in everyone’s life they will come across people who will hurt them. This is where we may pick up a new emotional scar or two.
Sometimes the hurt is unintentional, maybe a word said in gest or a sentence muttered in haste. But either way, our words have the ability to cut deep and hurt those around us.
Not Heal: Exploring the Capacity to Relive Social and Physical Pain” the team proved that emotional pain was something that people would relive as where physical pain was found harder to recall.
Having experienced both physical and emotional pain, I can honestly say that I agree with this research. Although at the time my physical pain felt like I couldn’t carry on, it is my emotional pain that stays with me and triggers by memory.
Social shaming
The words that hurt me when I was younger were said to my face.
Nowadays people hide behind computer screens. They tweet from anonymous accounts and troll the internet looking for people to hurt. They fat shame, make homophobic comments and aim for controversy. All whilst not showing their faces.
we live in day and age of keyboard warriors and we cannot let them win. Trolling is bullying no matter how you spin it.
The key thing to remember is that they want a rise from you, don’t do it!
“I will never get Twitter. I’m not very good on the phone or technology. I cannot really keep up with emails so the idea of Twitter is so unthinkable to me … If you ever see a Facebook, Instagram or Twitter that says it’s me, it most certainly is not … I had [the answer to that question] locked and loaded … Because the Internet has scorned me so much. And I feel like I’m that girl in high school like, ‘You wanna talk about her? I’ll take my hoops off, I’m ready to go.’ ”- Jennifer Lawrence
Don’t let them define you
We are all made up of moments that mould us into the person we are. These moments are a mixture of both good and bad, moments that add to our character and build on our strength.
As we discovered earlier our emotional pain may be connected to our recall and although this means that our pain travels with us, it should never define us.
You are not the words that people use to hurt you, you are not your flaws. You are you and that is beYOUtiful!
