Christ, an Unanswered Prayer
I wrap myself in a sullen shroud
As one more blow bashes me face first
And lays me lower than low,
Prostrate with powerfully unpledged sorrows.
My husband’s spirit has wandered from the little country kirk where we wed,
And my children flee to the city cathedral so cold, empty, bleak, disconnected.
I stand alone, a heart and soul divided,
As no one branch can worship together alone.
Face flat on the floor
With disbelief and faith no more,
I feel no peace and joy,
And even the Lord brings no surcease.
My mind wanders as my body tires,
And I start to wonder about the Lord.
Does He feel it too?
Does He feel the brokenness of His yet unanswered prayer?
Over and over and over,
At the last Passover He shared with His friends,
He begged His Father to make them one,
To reflect the oneness He had with Abba.
Once by His Name,
Second guarding the future in and with His now,
And third by the glory He gave that He received from Abba —
He prayed a perfect, three-fold prayer for unity.
And we’ve fallen,
We’ve fallen hard and fast,
Splintered and shattered into over 40,000 fractured fragments,
And the blind lead the blind into no one right way on the highway to hell.
Should I be comforted
That even the Lord’s prayer was answered with a resounding no?
Should I be scared and confounded
That the perfect Man prayed a perfect prayer that seems to be unanswered?
I hold no answers in my finite soul.
Does He feel the brokenness even more than I do?
Is that why He tried to pray in advance?
Do anger and frustration rise in His heart at His unanswered prayer within Abba’s will?
Must He wait until after Armageddon?
Does His wait make Him weep?
Are deaf ears and stony hearts ignoring His pleas for obedient consolidation?
Is He sighing like an exhausted parent with a rebellious, petulant teen?
There are no answers.
This side of eternity is void of certainty and unity.
Blind faith isn’t tranquil,
And brokenness breeds unrest.
Author’s Note: The passages where Christ prays for unity are often on my mind these days. The verses most significant for my poem are John 17:11, John 17:21, and John 17:22. Even more significant is that in the translation, four major versions that I use for study and understanding all have the prayer as “that they may be one”: New International Version, King James Version, Tree of Life Version, International Children’s Bible. It’s quite a bit to contemplate, especially when the answer involves I don’t know yet.
