Zippy Take Over, #11

Fake Treats

I love treats. All kinds–big ones, short ones, round ones, long ones, bone ones, even the bizarre dry and chewy sweet ones.

However, my Mom does something very mean to me. I don’t understand why. Every now and then, without any warning, she goes to the cupboard and gets me two treats. She acts all excited like I’ve done something really good. I take them, and then I’m done.

They taste so bad. They are worse than cat poop. I don’t know what they really are, but there is no way they could be treats.

Lately, she’s putting on them that brown stuff that makes my tongue stick in the top of my mouth. It’s so good, but then I can’t push those fake treats out for anything.

Indoor Showers, Again

My Mom’s whelps need to learn to listen to me. I don’t like the indoor rain room. I hate the indoor rain room. They take me there too much, and then I don’t smell like I should. I smell too human and clean; every cat around makes fun of me.

Then, that one whelp that looks like the other whelp wraps me in a cloth. She takes away all the water so I can’t give those whelps an indoor shower of my own.

A New Game… with Special Bones

I really hate these special bones my Mom and ‘On have. They hold those bones and point those bones and sometimes put those bones over their weird ears; they won’t put those bones down to hold me and touch me and point my face at them.

So, I’ve found a new game, but again my family doesn’t like it. I hide their special bones. It is so funny when the sun is just starting to shine. I scoot those special bones under my body before they come out of their rooms for their sleeping couches. Then they get their artificial fur changed–sometimes it would be better if they kept the old fur because the new fur doesn’t smell right–and start to gather their books and bags.

They look through their bags and a funny look crosses their face. They start to smell… well, not happy… and they run all over looking for something. By my tail I believe if they had tails they’d chase them.

After many wags of my tail, they get a different look and start to show their teeth and smile. They come over and they scratch me and move me and find their special bones. They get all happy and move my face around and pay attention to me.

Good humans. Lesson learned.

Originally published at kittiephoenixromans08.wordpress.com on March 9, 2016.