Zippy’s Medium Takeover, #1

*strong licking sounds*

This is… different. Not sure Mom knows how different this is. I’ve watched her do this, but I don’t know if I’m ready. All the pictures and words and ways the humans put words together is too different.

Mom

My Mom has been around a lot, almost too much. I don’t have the house to myself anymore. She doesn’t carry that big rectangle she used. She’s always at another big rectangle. I see so many different humans on it, and she sits and talks at the rectangle like the humans are real. Can’t you smell they’re not real, Mom?

She’s brought more rectangles into the house. They smell different. They don’t have all the tails the other rectangles do either. And she won’t let me sniff or scratch on the weird white and fake leaves in the new rectangles.

‘On

I was so worried about ‘On. Long ago, I got kicked off the big bed and wasn’t allowed in the room he and Mom share. I could only stay with the whelps. And I thought I was in trouble — he wasn’t touching me or holding me or playing with me.

He had six legs… four were new. Then, one morning, he only had three legs, but he had a funny tail connected to a loud box. Then he was back to normal but still with the tail, and I was allowed on the big bed again. He even plays with me more and smells better now.

But they still won’t let me be on the big bed if the sun isn’t bright.

My Paws

My humans are so weird. They don’t like it when I lick my paws. They pull my paws away and hold them. Even when I nip at them (and I would never bite them because that would make me get the bad sign), they still don’t let me have my paws.

I know my paws are better when I don’t lick them. But I have such a hard time knowing what my humans want and telling them what I want. And I don’t understand all the rules. And I want to be a good dog all the time because they give me good food and water.

So I just lick my paws over and over because it feels good at first. But maybe my humans know my paws hurt if I like too much and then I can’t run and play like a good dog.

I don’t know.