Zippy’s Medium Takeover, #3
Can’t pee/poop
*slurping and licking noises*
I wish you could feel your tongue on your paws… er, hands. I’m really struggling. Last time, I told you that we were in a new fur-ever home because of the bright shiny that smelled bad.
I’m not happy, and I don’t want to wag my tail right now. My Mom and ‘On have so many new rules for this new fur-ever home.
Don’t get me wrong. The floors are lined with fake fur that makes my back feel better than a good scratch. And I have so many more spots to just lay in the warm sun… although sometimes it gets too hot.
But all the rules are really putting my tail between my legs and making me hang my head. I can’t pee on every tree. I can’t smell the flowers (well, I can if I don’t pee). I can’t poop in front of the one furball’s forever home. I can’t play “Snatch the Fuzz from the Furball.”
But my Mom keeps humming this song, something along the lines of “Can’t Touch This.” When she wasn’t looking, I started digging for the lyrics. Then I dreamed of being able to dance and howl her out with my version.
Feel free to chase your tail… or your friend’s tail. Just don’t let Mom catch you.
Can’t pee here
Can’t poop there
Can’t pee here (oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh)
Can’t poop there (oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh)
My-my-my-my kibble makes me so hard makes me say oh my Lord
Thank you for blessing me with a tail to wag and four hype feet
That’s good when you know you’re down
A super dope rescue from the shelter
And I’m known as such
And this is a wag uh u can’t touch
I told you homeboy u can’t pee here
Yeah that’s how we’re livin’ and you know u can’t poop there
Look in my eyes dude u can’t pee here
You know let me whiz the funky flowers u can’t poop there
Fresh new licks and stunts
You got it like that now you know you wanna lick
So move out of your seat
And get a fly bitch and catch this treat
While it’s rollin’ hold on hump a little bit
And let me know it’s wagging on like that like that
Tied on a leash so pull on back
Let ’em know that you’re too much
And this is a bush uh u can’t poop
Yo I told you u can’t pee here
Why you lifting leg dude u can’t pee there
Yo yank the leash drag me in sucker u can’t poop here
Give me a treat or kibble
Making ’em howl that’s what I’m giving ‘em
Now they know when you talk about the Zippy
You talk about a mutt that’s hyped and loose
Furballs are teasin’ so pass them on by
Or wag quick to learn how to sniff some butt
And now he’s gonna learn
The rules illegit either play hard
Or you might as well sniff
That’s word because you know
Can’t pee here (oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh)
Can’t poop there (oh-oh oh oh-oh-oh)
Lick it down
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh)
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh)
Stop Zippy time
Go with the flow in a spin if you can’t see cuteness
Then you probably are dead
So wag your tail in the air
Bust through the door run your fingers through my fur
This is it for a winner
Wag to this and you’re gonna get thinner
Move slide your rump
Just for a minute let’s all do the hump
Hump hump hump yeah
Can’t pee here
Look dude u can’t poop there
You’ll probably get hyped dude ’cause you know you can’t u can’t pee here
Ring the bell turkey done button out let it go
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Stop Zippy time
(Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh)
(Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh)
(Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh)
(Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) u can’t pee here
(Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) u can’t poop there
(Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) u can’t pee here
(Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) let it go
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Stop Zippy time
Every time you see me that Zippy’s just so hype
He’s sprawled on the floor and he’s lickin’ on his paw
Now why would I ever stop doing this
With others makin’ scent marks that just don’t hit
I toured around the block from mailbox to the church
It’s Zippy go Zippy
It’s a Zippy yo Zippy and the rest sit and stay
Can’t pee here (oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh)
Can’t poop there (oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh)
Can’t poop here (oh-oh oh-oh-oh)
Yeah u can’t pee here
Mom told me u can’t poop there (oh-oh oh-oh-oh)
Too hype can’t pee here
Get me outta here u can’t poop there
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
I dug the howls from google. The human version was written by four humans; I still can’t read well.

