5 minute writing.

purpose: set a timer for 5 minutes. write every day.

6/8/2023

10:49pm.

Downtown Dallas Desk:

Porsche Topless by Kid Cudi is blasting through my Airpods Max.

I got a new pair because I’m impatient and didn’t want to wait to get my original pair fixed. Maybe it would have been free. I paid $600 to get some immediately.

I am an inherently impatient person. I want it now. Front of the line. The riches, the spoils of winning. I want to cut in line.

This is interesting to me because I’ve always been a grinder. Every version of success, every real win I’ve ever had, has been because I put in work, hard, serious mental labor, for extended periods of time.

Hilariously — I find some strange humor in it — I cannot seem to apply myself to that same level of labor in a physical way unless I have some external source of pressure.

Growing up, it was team sports and the requirements of showing up to practice to be able to play to keep me fit.

For a while, it was the consistent visits from Eric, my former trainer, and the $1200 a month I spent to potentially see him 4 times a week to get me active.

Now, I just sit at a desk and type. And jump on calls. And show people things. And think and think and think. Occasionally, I toil.

Most of the time, I simply exist. I am a vessel for responses. I suck in knowledge just in time to regurgitate.

This hurts.

But it’s also my superpower.

I’m a grinder. I can learn faster than most. I can ingest knowledge — different than learning — faster than most.

“I grind because I worry.”

I have to win. I have to win yesterday.

And this keeps me rooted in my work.

The timer is going off.

It’s time to stop writing.

I don’t want to.

I shall.

6/9/2023

9:40am.

Downtown Dallas Desk:

Man, what a rip-roaring start to a Friday.

I was definitely more productive yesterday morning, waking up in a panic oto get some projects over the line.

And I functionally slept for 4 hours.

But but but

Kissed Amber goodbye as she left for work.

Fired up Spotify, found a new song Drake is featured on.

Janelle Monae dropped new music.

And for the first time in a long time, I put on music and bopped around the house, hyped by good music.

I’ve been sitting at this desk, click clacking away. Not eating. Just grinding.

Taking calls. Trying to save the world, or at least trying to help more and more people day by day.

And you know… it’s working.

I’ve thought for a long time that motivation comes after momentum.

And the only way to become truly motivated is to move, to work, to build… even if its NOT the thing you want to be working on for the long term.

In the last few weeks, there have been so many serendipitous moments that have only come about because 6–8 weeks ago, I decided to go for it.

And I love that.

That’s what it’s all about.

To quote Hormozi, I am starting to outwork my self-doubts.

I am building a moat of evidence to show that I really have the sauce.

And the train is running, I’m enjoying work more and more, and things are starting to work.

The devil works hard though. There have been moments where I’ve gone 2 steps forward, one step back.

But I’m pushing through, knowing that I can solve anything that hits me.

And even if I can’t solve it… I know I’ll survive.

To quote Saint_Dici (co-founder of Kill Crew): It’s smelly hoody season.

Except I’m taking showers AND grinding.