4/20 THOUGHTS
It’s 4/20 and I Just Don’t Feel Like Getting High Today
The holiday isn’t appealing to me as much this year while my partner is celebrating
First of all, before you all come for me in the comments. I love weed. I support legalization and I support decriminalizing the drug, changing the schedule, and expunging and commuting any current sentences around it.
With that being said, I don’t overindulge in it. My partner has a ton of marijuana in his system because it’s the only thing that’s helped his severe, chronic physical pain.
As we speak, he’s mixing in an edible ghee he made into some food we have. He loves eating it, vaping it, and sometimes smoking it. We both do. Today’s 4/20.
In the past, I’ve gotten a little excited about the holiday. My pain is also very severe. I indulge when it becomes unbearable. I have a low tolerance for the plant and have kept it that way. The thing is, I only smoke when I need to or want to. That doesn’t come as often as it does for my partner.
He has it more than once a day.
You’d be lucky if you saw me doing it more than a few times a week if even that. There will be weeks at a time when I have none just so I don’t have to spend more to get him anymore because he can have the whole supply to himself. I guess I’m not really a weed person, per se.
I’m open-minded and accepting of the other people I know who can smoke it endlessly. I even wished some friends a Happy 4/20 today and even shared a weed GIF but I’m just not in the mood.
I’m not in the mood to celebrate…anything, really.
I’m not in the mood to smoke. My new medications, pain, and energy level have fluctuated wildly for a bit now. I wonder if I’m ever going to adjust to my new medications. I don’t need to add weed to my mix to make it more uncertain.
While I love that I can wish my chill and stoned friends a great 4/20, today is now just another day for me. The anxiety and anticipation of the upcoming move from the campground have also been on my mind. We leave in two days and we have a lot to do.
I’m not trying to be a downer. I’m just saying what’s on my mind today. No, I won’t harsh your mood. I’ll just let you know that in my third year on Medium writing about 4/20, I don’t really have more fun stuff to add about it this year.
I might next year and that’ll be fine but this year, I’ll chill out and relax in my own way. By reading, writing, and engaging on this wonderful writing platform. I can also just sit here and watch my partner have fun and be relieved of his pain for another day. He’s also a lot more fun and pleasant when he’s stoned, so that’s definitely a bonus.
