DAY 16 OF 30 OF THE APRIL RELATIONSHIP WRITING CHALLENGE
Men Need Reassurance, Too
Double the men, double the reassurance needed as well
I saw the title for today’s relationship challenge and I thought to myself, “I knew that already.” I know that when Susie wrote this challenge, she was meaning that for her own relationship and I was going to have to transform this prompt somehow to relate it to my own relationship. After all, double the men, double the reassurance needed as well, am I right?
I used to think that my partner was more hardened to his feelings and more resolute than I was. He always seemed to be so sure of himself too. There’s no way that this man could have doubts and fears, right? Wrong. I was always feeling everything while he was just analyzing everything and seemingly not letting things affect him.
I have found out in the nine years that we’ve been together that he feels things just as much, if not more, sometimes than I do. He also doubts himself despite his vast knowledge of many things.
I need to be there to give him reassurance. I have to reassure him that he’s a good person. That his opinions and his knowledge do matter. I also tell him constantly that he’s perfect for me even if he isn’t perfect in the sense of without flaws. I love him because of and sometimes despite those flaws but I wouldn’t want to change any of them.
I love the reassurance and support he gives me when I’m going through an emotional rollercoaster and am not sure of how to deal with my feelings and thoughts. He provides me with love and support by being supportive of me in all of the interests that I’ve taken on over the years.
Men aren’t just unemotional, thinking, hyper-logical, and rational machines despite what it seems sometimes. We also need love, support, and reassurance. Addressing our emotional and mental health concerns is important too. We should definitely normalize that so that more men don’t feel isolated and alone.
I think it’s just fine to compliment or get into a deep conversation with a man on things. Even if he’s straight, gay, or somewhere in between. We all just want to feel like we’re appreciated and respected. We all have doubts. We all have fears. Why wouldn’t we want someone who’s a friend, a family member, or just someone randomly letting us know that it’ll be all right and that our concerns and doubts don’t need to remain?
We’re all human. We should all feel okay needing and receiving reassurance, regardless of gender identity. Reassurance, support, and guidance are all forms of showing love to your fellow human. We have plenty of this in my current relationship. I hope that wherever you are, you also have these things in your life too.
Deb Palmer, Karen Schwartz, Ruby Noir, Denise Kendig, Keeley Schroder, Marlana, MSW, and Susie Winfield
