A Bath in Anorexia Recovery

(There’s Always Hope)

Elyse taking a bath

I took a bath.
And my body is different now.
There’s more flesh.

There are more stretch marks and bumps.
There’s more…

Well,

Of me.

I contemplated.
My knees bent as I tuck them to my chest.
Part of me has emerged from frothy water.

The soap was lavender.
The soap slipped out of my hands when I tried to pick it up.
The soap was love.
From mom. From dad.

I glanced down to see softness in my stomach.
That’s new.
It’s rounder.
Bigger.
Squishier.

I touched it the way it needed to be touched.
I held onto it and closed my eyes.

And I felt.
I felt.

Three moments swirled in my brain.

There was little me.
Once upon a time I was a girl a girl girl.
And the bath was an ocean, outer space, a place to play.