A Breakthrough in my First Counseling Session in a Decade
Stop talking. This is about me. I don’t need to hear what you have to say. Why don’t any therapists get it? It’s not about them having the space to talk about themselves. It’s about me and what I have to say.
These were my first thoughts in therapy recently. My walls were up and I was getting frustrated. I didn’t want to hear her positive words of encouragement and recognition for me having taken a step back into the therapeutic world. I felt nothing from her expressed compassion. I didn’t want a therapeutic relationship. I just wanted to be heard, understood, discover what I needed to learn and move on.
She asked me to be honest and express how I felt. I wanted to say everything I felt about her and how disappointed I already was and we weren’t even 20 minutes into the session. I hesitated, as I usually do, to speak my truth. I can’t say how I feel, I thought.
She opened the doorway to truth by giving examples of the honesty others had expressed to her when she’d posed a similar question to them in their sessions. Was it really safe to share how I felt about this stranger in front of me?
I let my walls down. I opened the doorway to my own thoughts and feelings. She received them with openness and gratitude. Was she really grateful?
