Acting “OK” Even When I Am Not

I crave love and attention yet I distance myself in hard times

Photo by Usman Yousaf on Unsplash

“I can’t handle it anymore. I’m done with this crap.”

I know you’ve uttered those words. Maybe not out loud, but definitely in your mind — In all your heartbreaks, in all your defeats, in all of your major setbacks.

Feeling like “this is just too much”, and the only option is to disappear from everyone’s eyes.

It’s a strange mixture of contradictory emotions — wanting to seek comfort from others, but still pushing hard to make it up all by yourself.

You want to be that person everyone turns to — when they need a listening ear, a helping hand, or a shoulder to cry on — the rock, the dependable one, who’s always ready to support others.

But when it’s your turn, you find yourself standing all alone.

Ever felt that way?

I do. Several times.

I have been there all alone so much so that now the idea of seeking help makes me uncomfortable and pushes me into that outsider zone.

I suddenly feel like I would be baggage— assuming that others won’t understand, or will be able to help. And I decide to keep that burden on my shoulders.