All The Things I Take for Granted
I am acutely aware of them
Most days I wake up with a sense of gratitude, humility and awe for life, but today wasn’t one of those days.
Today I didn’t wake up looking forward to walking my dog at 6 a.m. I didn’t enjoy walking in the freezing cold, stopping several times to let him sniff and being pulled the entire time. All I could think was, “I can’t wait for this walk to be over” and I prayed that I wouldn’t meet other people with dogs because I couldn’t stand it today. I couldn’t bear to hear someone with their puppy off the lead telling me, “He’s fine with other dogs.” I wished my dog would just walk himself.
And then I felt guilty.
Today I wasn’t grateful for having a roof over my head, food on the table, and a pile of dishes to wash. I looked at my full sink with disgust and thought about how much I don’t care about doing chores around the house and how it’s such a futile way to spend my time, scrubbing grease off the same ceramic plates as if that proves what a responsible adult I am — as if my worth is measured by how many germs I’ve successfully removed. I wanted to ditch the cutlery, eat with my hands, and not be a lady for a day.
And then I felt guilty.
