An ‘Ethical’ Return to Sender Ritual
The presumed “dark art” can actually be benevolent protection
Even in witchcraft, there is controversy.
As I’ve written before, I do not consider myself a witch but I am an active spiritualist who works with benevolent deities to manifest or create balance, protection, order, and healing. A “light worker,” one might say. I have extreme respect and reverence for witchcraft, however, and know and love many witches, but we all have different ways of using our gifts.
In my light worker world, and even in the witchcraft community, there is a lot of controversy around the idea of the “Return to Sender” ritual, or spell. Some say it’s a protection mechanism (deemed ethical) and others say it's a hex (deemed a dark art) — depends on the website or subReddit. However, no matter how you look at it, there is an ethical way to do it, and I’m going to share with you how, after I share how to do it in the first place.
Why? Because we should all know how to protect ourselves from someone else’s negative energy when it is pointed at us. It could be as simple as them gossiping about our personal lives or it could be a full on psychic attack. Return to Sender at its very basis means you take the negativity or projected harm that someone sends your way, knowingly or unknowingly, and you send it right back to them with three times the intensity. It generally gets them to stop, even if they have no idea you’re doing it, because they are dealing with their own mess and you leave their focus. I do this ritual as needed, which this autumn seems to be more heavy — perhaps because of all the lunar energy, ends of fiscal year in business creating stressors, or the looming chaos of holidays and family drama.
There are several ways to do this, but like every other ritual or spell, as I always say, magic is where action meets intention. So if your intention is strong and your actions map to the intention you set, as long as you don’t dabble with dark entities you don’t understand, you can’t really go wrong.
- Grab a container that can be tightly sealed. Some prefer mason jars, I prefer recyclable plastic containers, even though I never re-use them.
- As always, when doing rituals, as I explain in another article for this publication, smudge and cleanse your space to rid it of any other energies. Sometimes I burn a candle when doing it, sometimes I don’t. Depends on the person, the feeling, the intensity, and the urgency.
- Write down the name of the offending person or persons with their names, birthdate, astrological sign, and birth time (or as much info as you have). I like to print a picture of the person and write all of this on the back. This is your “petition.”
- Now, the choices begin. I’ll give you the basics; you can search for others. I stick to the basics. Decide if you want to encase the offender(s) in dirt or if you want to freeze them. The idea is to have them “stuck” until you deem it safe for them to be unstuck.
- I usually freeze because I live in a community where I can’t really dig up the grounds or bury anything. I do clear and cleanse a freezer shelf (similar to smudging the work space) because having negative people right next to my taquitos and ice cream simply feels weird, but work with the space you have. The rest of my instructions are going to be based on freezing, because it’s what I know best.
- Cleanse the container, similar to what I explained above, and fill it most of the way with water. I often add a spray of Palo Santo, or if someone is especially heinous, some Florida Water to diminish their power. Many people will add rose thorns or thistle or cayenne or other “painful” properties that could create additional discomfort — I choose not to do this. If I’ve burned down an earlier candle to protect myself specifically from the offender(s) I will put it in the container, too (see picture of left container below).
- You may choose to shield yourself before doing any of this (I recommend it). You can have a protection candle charged, anointed and burning near you, or you can meditate and envision yourself encased in a gold egg-type with silver lining to protect from negative energy (envision it coming from your feet to wrap around your body).
- It’s usually recommended to do one container per person, but I’ve often done multiples if they are connected to the same family or company, and it’s been fine. Fill the container with water and add whatever else you choose (see above). Take each petition and fold it over at least twice. In my process, you’d gently slide each petition into the water, and then close the container so it is air-tight.
- Then, you are going to, with hands on the container, recite something similar to the following:
- “Whatever negative energy you send to me, I return to you times three”
- “Whatever hurtful intentions you send my way, be returned to you times three.”
- “May none of your negative or hurtful energy attach to me or my loved ones. Let the energy return to you times three.”
- “May whatever harm you send to me or my loved ones return to you times three.”
- “There is a golden shield from the divine protecting me and my loved ones and you can do no harm.” (Alter this based on how you shield.)
After you’ve done all of this, gently place the container(s) into your freezer in a place where it will not be moved around or touched (a high shelf in the back is a good idea if you have kids often hunting for snacks).
Seems pretty benign, right? So why is there so much controversy over whether this is protection or hex? Because in either way, it is manipulation or control of another person’s energy. Hence, the loophole.
Ideally, we want love and light, and all that jazz, and for people to not mess with us in the first place, right? Here’s your simple loophole. Either right before or right after the ritual — and sometimes on and off in the days following — ask whatever benevolent deity you believe in (a god or an angel or spiritual leader or even Mother Earth) to, “Please watch over [offender] and help them stop sending gossip/negativity/harmful energy my way as I want to ensure their safety and that they do not hurt themselves.”
I mean, you could pray or wish them well just to be on the right side of karma without doing the ritual, but if you want to take action to stop the negativity, Return to Sender is the way to go.
How long do you leave them in the freezer? However long you need to in order to feel safe or you’re certain the negative or harmful behavior has stopped. Do not simply take the container out of the freezer and throw the container away!
Let it thaw naturally in sunlight, take what is left of the petition(s) out and dry them between paper towels. Then, somewhere safe, burn them. If burning is not an option, tear them up and spray or smoke with Palo Santo or Copal and throw the petition(s) away in a garbage somewhere off your property or near a crossroads. I have a stream that runs behind my property so I will dump the thawed water in there and say, “Thank you for carrying this away from me.” If you have that option, awesome, but do not dump the container or paper(s) as that is littering and an insult to Mother Earth. If you don’t have a stream, take the water and dump it into the ground somewhere off your property (some might say on their property, but that’s not realistic, and also trespassing).
Finally, cleanse the container with white sage to clear all elements. I never re-use or keep them; I recycle them elsewhere. But, that is a personal choice. On a lighter note, I saw a meme the other day that said, “Don’t you hate it when you forget who you have in your freezer?” So, if you do a lot of these, you may want to label them on the outside.
Remember, magic is where action meets intention, so simply do your best, but I hope you never have to use this. Be safe and blessed be.
Contribution inspired by the Know Thyself, Heal Thyself fall writing prompt of “Autumn Rituals” from May More and Diana C.
