An Ode to Voluntary Sadness
If you’re sad because you want it, give yourself a hug.
I’ve had my fair share of heartbreak. I used to think of myself as unlucky, but now I wear those scars like badges of honor. If anything, they remind me that I’ve survived all of the worst things that I thought could happen.
But then every now and again I would hear a snippet of a song and break down in tears. A delicate waft of scent that feels remotely familiar brings me back to the day everything crumbled down. Right before that very moment, everything was fine, and then, it would all fall into pieces.
As with spiritual growth and self development, healing is not linear. There are twists and turns and loops and bends along the way, and not one journey is the same. Interestingly, sometimes I find myself taking a voluntary U-turn because, well, I want to be sad.
When I listen to sad songs I want to feel each shattering piece stab my heart as if it happened yesterday. When a movie character experiences a heartbreak, I too want to relive the moments when I got my own. I would tell myself that it’s my way to honor the memory and my feelings towards it, but deep down I must admit that sometimes, I just want to relate to something sad.
There’s a certain aesthetic in it, like being a part of a secret club, for sad people only. We rejoice in our woes and it makes us all the better for it. Was it productive? I don’t know, and frankly, I hardly care. I want to feel my feelings and I’m allowed to do so. Furthermore, there’s always something to learn from everything, including voluntary sadness.
Being sad makes me feel alive
To live is to feel, and even sadness is a sign that we are living, breathing human beings who experience things. After all, life is not only defined by the high points or emotions, but also the low, uncomfortable ones.
Being sad makes me feel less alone
I feel this especially true in some communities online, but the way people share their stories and how they deal with miseries remind me that being sad is OK and I’m not the only one in the dumps. This experience is shared by many and they are all here to lift up one another.
Being sad gives me strength
While it sounds strange, being sad reminds me that the difficult part has already happened. It’s in the past and I’ve lived through it. The hard part is over. I’m grateful that it has happened, and grateful for the lessons I’ve learned from it. Now I have the time to be sad, to sit in it, and show compassion to myself. Only then I would be ready to move on and tackle whatever it is in front of me.
Like everything else, sadness is best when it’s in moderation. When you take upon some voluntary sadness don’t let yourself drown in your sorrows and forget to get up again. Remind yourself that just like any other emotions, sadness is ephemeral. It will ebb and it will flow. You have been here before, and you’ve bounced right back every time.
