Boundary Training
ah family…
The 50 day challenge of self reflection from KTHT.
Day 3: How can you learn to forgive people for treating you poorly whilst continuing to uphold the boundaries you set in response to their poor treatment?
My mother used to call me twice a week to pull me into “ain’t it awful” conversations about money when I left my F/T job to start my healing practice.
After her calls I noticed feeling exhausted and depressed for about 4 days. Then she would call again. I needed a break. I wrote her a snail mail letter in the days just before the internet. When she next called I outlined what I had written (she said she had received the letter) and told her that the break from our relationship would not last a long time. She agreed not to call me and wait for my call if I felt so inclined.
I knew she would break our agreement due to her neediness. I wrote a script and left it next to the phone. When she called I reminded her (from the script) that she had broken our agreement, while she protested with “reasons” why she had called. I told her that I would give her an opportunity to say goodbye and hang-up starting immediately or I would take action. She continued to defend her reasons for calling. I told her that I would countdown from five to one if she didn’t interrupt me to say goodbye and hang-up herself…
