Broke Up With My Mentor
Chapter 3.4 I.Bali
Amed was a quiet harbor. So quiet that there weren’t even taxis in the area. Therefore, I took short walks along the quiet streets. On one side there were majestic mountains, on the other — the Bali Sea.
My mentor lived nearby, and I also wanted to visit her. In a year of communication, this is the first time I will see her not through a phone screen. My internal intention was to end our sessions. I tried to do this before, but there were reasons that I agreed to stay with.
In my mind, the therapist was an authority figure, and honestly, something in me was afraid to be truly open with her. Eventually, when we met and I stayed silent. After a while, a situation occurred between us that made it impossible for us to continue our sessions.
Seeing what was happening rather than playing it out gave me more self-confidence. I started not to dismiss the feelings that came to me. I began to listen to them, to watch them as friends.
I noticed that anger had a certain honesty. It contains a protest against betraying what is important to you.
Several scenarios played out in the situation. For me, it was mostly about my mom, especially considering the fact that my therapist and I started sharing one villa. When I left the villa, I was glad. I was going through the process of separation.
I wonder, do we choose the role we play in other people’s lives?
The new year was approaching. I settled into a small wooden house next to a chicken coop. Local roosters taught me to wake up early. I met new people and explored the surroundings.
I decided to celebrate the New Year by myself. It was interesting to get to know myself better. The planets danced in space, and I danced in the rain in my garden. It felt like we were dancing together. I painted myself a picture as a gift and create the meditation for sharing with people. I had a wonderful New Year with my first tropical rainy season.
Less than three months have passed since I arrived in Indonesia. I changed five or seven places during this time. Looking at my “compass”, I had the feeling that this was just the beginning.
Wonderland, I want to get to know you better.
