Dear friend,
I know, it’s been a while since I called you friend.
I’m sorry I have been so harsh on you and I will admit: there’s been times where I didn’t want to see you anymore. I wanted you out.
I thought you were invading my life.
We had a pretty good relationship until I realized I could no longer hide you. You were getting heavy and took more and more space. My friend, you have no clue how guilty I felt because I had you in my life. Cause all I could see in the mirror was you.
We had good days, no need to deny it. For most of them, I was too young to even bother. I didn’t even know you existed to be honest. Then adulthood got me thinking a lot more about you. You were everywhere, in the magazines, on TV, and yet, I was so ashamed. I felt I was in the wrong category of people. The kinda category that doesn’t fit anywhere.
I had to avoid shopping with you at all cost cause I knew I was just in for another disappointment. Worse, I was in for tears in front of the mirror, but in a public place.
I tried. I swear I tried to get rid of you. For months, I was on a quest to get you, make you disappear. But you had other plans. After all efforts, all you needed was me to stop paying attention to come straight back at me.
You won’t believe how frustrating this was. Especially when you had your temper tantrums. Couldn’t eat what I wanted, couldn’t drink what I wanted, when something was not good enough for you, you made me pay for it.
Eventually I understood. I mean, I think I understand now what you’ve trying to tell me all along. It’s time for a truce. We are not enemies, we are a team. We’ve always been a team. No more tears, no more drama.
Let’s promise each other to be happy as we can be. Let’s promise to listen to each other and be kind to each other. Cause you are and you will always be part of me belly.
I love you. Just the way you are, on your good days and your bad days. We will be fine. I promise.
Suzanne
