Does What Follows Death Matter?
What death means to me
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Writing about death and the afterlife has been on my mind for some time when 𝘋𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘢 𝘊. asked the all-important question of “What death means to you” in this week’s prompt. Thank you Diana for tempting me to start writing this sooner than I would have given my habit of procrastinating.
I have a lot to say about death but one thing I can’t say is that I have it all figured out.
I come from a generation of Buddhists who have been practicing the religion since their birth. I wouldn’t say I’m a practicing Buddhist. But it may be only because I still haven’t found all the right answers. Despite my current state of religious beliefs, I’ve grown up listening to Buddhist philosophy since my childhood.
Buddhism talks about death in extent with its teachings of the not-permanent nature of the world. So, of course, one of the things I have to say about death and the afterlife involves religion. To be precise, it’s a question I ask myself often: why does it matter?
Why does it matter?
My question is not referring to death and why it matters, rather why does the afterlife matter. But to give better context to it, I have to talk about how, in Buddhism, our afterlives and past lives are bound by the karma we commit.
According to Buddhism, we are spending neither the first nor the last life in this universe. And the karmas we committed in our past lives and current life has a say, a rather huge say, in what happens to us in life. It follows a simple principle we all know: every action has a reaction. But in the case of karma, the reactions to our actions might occur in this life or one of the future lives.
Then Buddhism talks about enlightenment, how to put an end to the suffering of being born over and over again and guarantee that there are no more afterlives. But that’s beside the point I’m trying to make. So I’ll go back to the philosophy of karma, past lives, and afterlives.
I’ve gone through this concept in my head with both logical and intuitive perspectives. Add to that what I have experienced in my somewhat short lifetime, I don’t question the validity and existence of past lives, afterlives, or effects of karma. But I haven’t still found the right answer to my first question: why does it matter?
Yes, my afterlife will be shaped by the actions I take today—and past lives too, but those I no longer have any control over. But why does it matter however may my next life turn out to be if I, as I am in this life, won’t bear witness to the consequences of those actions? Why should “I” care how my afterlife turns out to be?
I won’t carry my consciousness of this life into the next. If I am born in a human life with unfavorable conditions for my sins of not following the Buddhist way of life, that outcome would cease to matter to the “me” who exists in this moment when I am dead.
If there’s a fault in my thinking, I haven’t found it yet. Until the day I find such a fault, I will continue to struggle with calling myself a Buddhist.
This also brings me to the second thing I have to say about death.
Your death is not your loss, it’s others’
The prompt asked the question, “What scares you about death? Is it leaving people behind? Not accomplishing what you wanted or simply not knowing what is next?”.
No, none of that scares me about death.
There won’t be an “I” or a consciousness that I can say is mine past the moment of my death. What mattered to me before death won’t matter any longer because there will be nothing of myself left in the aftermath of death. There won’t be any unfulfilled dreams or any loved ones left behind because “I” will no longer exist.
“Fear of death is ridiculous, because as long as you are not dead you are alive, and when you are dead there is nothing more to worry about!” — Paramahansa Yogananda
But I fear for the people I’ll be leaving behind. They’ll lose their friend, daughter, sister, or just someone they knew. They’ll have to learn to cope with the empty space my death will leave behind. They’ll grieve and suffer for the loss of a life that was dear to them. My death will be their loss. I won’t lose anything because “I” won’t exist.
For this reason, when I think of death, I think of it as something that affects people around me, not myself.
This is what death means to me. Is it an ending? Yes. Is it the ending? I don’t think so. Is it the ending that matters to me? That’s what I believe. But I’m still open to something that could change what I believe.
