Apr 19, 2021
Don’t Jump to Conclusions — Your Hypothesis Is Not What You Think
When the clouds of anger fade, the true intentions are revealed.
Don’t judge a book by its cover.
A proverb we have all come across while growing up. Little do we understand its true meaning until we mature, make mistakes and then let the meaning behind each word sink in.
Every situation had two sides. We have a perspective of our own, while the other has its own. We are so blind with anger that we refuse to see and empathise with the other. We aren’t willing to pause for a moment and reflect on our actions. But what we do instead is jump to conclusions, justify our actions and walk away from the situation — all the while being completely unaware of what started the conflict in the first place.
The Answers Appear When You Least Expect It
Most of us have been hurt. In love, in life, in a close friendship or family relationships. Sometimes the pain is unbearable. So much that the sooner we let go of that toxic person, the better. But sometimes, the love is mutual. But in the anger of proving ourselves right, we ignore the actions that may have been taken for our benefit. But by the time we realise the true meaning behind a person’s intentions, it’s too late, or we disconnect entirely.
However, that’s the fascinating thing about life. Sometimes when we go looking for answers, we never find them. Until much later, when we have overcome the clouds of anger and healed from the pain, the person whom we wish well otherwise but never want to meet makes an appearance. The strange thing is that at that very moment, we don’t hate that person anymore. We are glad to see them doing well. We make small talk until the elephant in the room is addressed.
Thought-provoking Conversations
But this time, we have two calm minds at play here. The surrounding is relaxed rather than filled with rage. Smiles are exchanged, and this time when words are spoken out loud, they are heard.
‘Hi. It’s so good to see you’.
‘Hi same here. Although I didn’t expect to see you here…’
‘You left and with it several unanswered questions. How much I wanted to call and ask. But then I thought you wouldn’t be bothered to know that I even exist’.
‘I left because I knew I was causing you more pain. I knew I was turning into someone that’s hurting you every single day. You may then say that’s not my decision to make. But I know that if I need to face my true self, I need to let you go’.
Such conversations may or may not sound familiar. But at some point in life, a conversation that expresses these hidden emotions do take place. The type of relationship doesn’t matter. But the fact that we misunderstand people’s actions entirely, do.
The Dynamics Change
Does the relationship go back to where it was? No. But what does happen is that we grow into more empathetic and kinder human beings. Of course, we aren’t on the same wavelength with that person. But we don’t mean any harm either. We wish them well and tell them that we will always be there if they ever need to talk. Because you may or may not agree with me, but when we have been through the worse with someone, we see a side of that person that only we understand. When things go downhill with that person, we somehow have a better understanding of how we can listen and be there for that person without giving any advice but listening and helping them see things from a different perspective and then come to a conclusion.
Every action as a consequence. We deal with the results, shed the skin of toxicity surrounding us and emerge stronger. But in the process, we judge less, listen more and help others navigate troubled waters to ensure that even though people make mistakes, the healing process can be much better, unlike what we went through. We can help people introspect and weigh the result of their actions better rather than be judged the wrong way that led us in misery.
Learn, Heal, Help — Repeat
Mistakes help us grow. And most of all, they help us learn not to judge. Because today if we laugh at someone’s misery, life has a funny way of turning the tables, and no sooner than we imagined, we are in the same miserable situation.
But instead of hurting ourselves and others. Instead of making a hole for others to fall because we fell, we can learn, grow and prove that empathy is not dead by not judging others but instead, help and be kind.
As not long ago, we learnt another famous proverb, ‘kindness begets kindness’. And then we least expect it, someone will open a window, and the darkness we face will fade because once we were the light in someone else’s darkness.
