Dreams to Reality
Handling success and its shortcomings
“In a world where dreams become reality, explore a day in the life of someone who must navigate and overcome the challenges and consequences of their every dream coming true, demonstrating their resilience in the face of unexpected outcomes.” (via ChatGPT)
A peaceful sensation overcame my body as I rose and sat on my bed. I reached my arms out to my nightstand and tapped my iPhone’s screen. Once I turned off my alarm clock and stretched, I slowly breathed and closed my eyes. For a few seconds, I inhaled positive energy and released negative thoughts.
I thought less about the possibility of losing my fully paid Toyota RAV4. A nearby hurricane couldn’t stop me from believing my most reliable form of transportation would decimate. This spacious and peaceful condominium shouldn’t be taken away from me. Even if I stopped paying my mortgage, nobody can take my home away.
Living in silence is beautifully perplexing. I ran away from social norms and created my own standards. My boxer dog, Phobos, is enough to replace my human urge for a wife and kids. I take care of him and he protects me. In a way, we guard each other with our own habits and needs.
My hobbies keep my spirits up. Since I don’t have any reason to go out anymore, I stay at home, work part-time, and volunteer. Besides Phobos, associates and familiar faces are the only connections I have left. All my close family and friends are gone. They either died or don’t live nearby.
Any leftover energy I have goes towards hobbies such as writing journal entries and sloppy book proposals. Taking landscape and street photos generates my best creativity. My biggest concern with using my camera in public nowadays is taking photos of strangers who fear scary looking Hispanic men.
I have no reason to shave or exercise. My last romantic relationship ended two decades ago and I haven’t missed that experience for a long time. I surpassed my hipster days of jumping and pumping my fists at nightclubs and drinking carbonated water and mocktails at bars.
As I age, I’m accepting and grateful of the situation I’m in. I have everything a person could want without any major complications or reoccurring troubles. Although, I wonder what could’ve been if I tried a little bit harder. At this point, I must let go of my attachments and embrace what I have.
Once I opened my eyes, I pinched myself and observed my home’s small space. I saw a family portrait of my sister hugging our mother on the wall. There were paintings of battered villages and boats tormented by thunderstorms and film photos displaying artists such as The Beatles and Marvin Gaye.
I looked out of a window to gaze at a beach in the distance. The fluffy clouds and skyline were beautiful, but the sun’s brightness made me squint. I moved my eyes and saw my neighbors walking their dogs. Kids skipped near their parents while I relished at the sight.
My mind was clear and calm. I didn’t feel the need to rush and prepare for the day. Instead, I walked over to the kitchen cabinet and grabbed a water bottle. Before opening the refrigerator nearby, I thought about what I could eat to start my day.
There were several food options, but none of them seemed satisfying. Greek yogurt and scrambled eggs sounded like the perfect combination. Once I realized I didn’t have either of them, I settled for the water I had left.
As I stood by the kitchen counter, there was a notebook with my day’s objectives in front of me. Besides the typical routine of brushing my teeth and taking a shower, I had to clean my condo, detail my car later in the day, and the most obvious, make a run to the grocery store.
Sundays usually restore a bit of my spirit, although lately, I’ve been exhausted. Even with peace and happiness, sometimes you wish there were people to help you.
I’m not sure how long this pattern will last before I give up.
I have everything I’ve ever wanted and still don’t feel happy. A fancy home and a reliable car doesn’t replace the emptiness I feel inside.
When I look in the mirror, I think about where my health went and how I let myself get to this point. The bicep muscles that women stared at became blocks of fat. My calves are a source of nighttime cramps. Each day, I must use Advil tablets to ease the pain from my hips and knees.
I always told myself that I couldn’t prioritize work over my health. What are all these materialistic things for if I can’t enjoy them? Burying my parents was the proudest, sad moment I’ve ever had. I helped them with what I could give them and honored their wishes.
When they were alive, I aided my parents through their declining health and provided them with a quiet environment. They didn’t end up becoming grandparents because I was too busy making sure I could survive. On some days, I wanted to jump off a bridge and end my misery. Once I realized how such an act would hurt them, I stayed away from the idea.
My purpose transformed into satisfying their needs and slowly building to satisfy my own. After years of saving and investing money, I became complacent. It feels like my reason to live died with them.
The only things I have left to worry about are the bills I must pay and the lifestyle I must maintain. This comes with making my boss happy and exploring opportunities to earn income outside of work. Six days out of the week, my body is drained from responsibilities.
Over the years, I’ve thought about hiding in the woods somewhere. I wanted to live in an area where nobody could find me. There was an allure and fascination I had for living a mysterious life. The thought of going off the grid and not existing decreased some of my anxieties.
When I looked at my iPhone’s notifications, that is where the panic settled in. All the things I didn’t want to think about crossed my mind. Phobos couldn’t even cheer me up. I closed my eyes again.
