Earthquake In My New World
Chapter 3.3 I.Bali
The seven-day quarantine ended. I watched the movement of the city from the tenth floor window, anticipating a return to dynamic life.
I got into a taxi paid for by the hotel manager, compensation for the pants ruined by laundry. On the way to the airport, I continued watching the city’s hustle from the window. The world seemed expanded compared to the view from my hotel room window.
Sitting on the plane from Jakarta to Bali, myriad sensations coursed through me. It had taken so long and courageously to get here, and now my dream had come true. My mind was exploding. Upon arrival, airport security checks were quick. Outside, my friend awaited me with flowers. I had met my friend in an Indian temple, and now we were meeting here. We got into the car, and the driver took us to Ubud.
Arriving in Ubud, awaiting magic, I opened the car door and took a step into my new life. I looked around and only one question raced through my mind: “So what?” It made me uneasy. There was no magic. No special feeling. Just reality.
It’s amusing how the most delicious part really is the journey, not the destination. How much responsibility we place on that destination for our happiness. Happiness encapsulated in an idea. It loses it’s maneuverability to manifest when we push it into the box of linear thinking.
The first night in Bali was restless. I woke in the middle of the night from a strong earthquake. The bed shook and the windows and doors rattled. I thought: “just when I took a break from rockets, now this?” My friend was there and reassured me. We went back to sleep. Waking in the morning, I witnessed the dialogue in my mind.
One voice said that it was foolish to be here. Unsafe. I was alone in a foreign country, on my own. I don’t understand why I’m here. I should go back. It’s all been in vain. The other voice said not to attach importance to this. I am fine. I am where I am.
Either way, there are no other options.
Being a good girl, I sat down to meditate and filled myself with gratitude. It was one of my favorite activities.
I didn’t feel like staying in Ubud. I realized I wanted to go to Amed. I didn’t really know what kind of place it was. I found out later that it’s a small village on the east coast of Bali.
A few days later, I was already on my way there with a group of nice people. On the way, we toured the island’s beautiful places. Our trip was fun and interesting. I didn’t plan it, but I started to notice the synchronicity of what was happening. I came to Amed and stayed there. A small, sparsely populated village at the foot of the largest active volcano in Bali — Agung.
Agung conquered my heart. Like a big daddy, it rises majestically above everything around it, emanating power and wisdom. During the day, it is covered with a hat of clouds. Legends say secret games of the gods take place there. And if it’s sunset time, sometimes it’s impossible to resist. Sunset rays peek out from under its peak, painting the sky in beautiful, juicy colors. Mesmerized, I watched the performance, trying not to blink so as not to miss the beauty.
I lived in that village. I swam among the coral reefs and didn’t understand what was happening and why I was doing what I was doing.
The only thing I understood was that my world had turned upside down, and I needed to remember the laws of this unfamiliar world.
Wonderland, I don’t understand what game I’m playing.
