Empty Arms
a poem for childless mothers
There’s a gaping wound inside of me
A hole in which you were supposed to lay
Like a black hole it swallows the light around me
I don’t know how to make it go away
The innocent joy of my children
Seems muted now and distant
Even as their fingers tangle in my hair
As they hold me close and whisper ‘I love you’
It’s not that your voice would have been sweeter
Just that yours was the note to make this song complete
It’s a melody I hold deep within my bones
And no matter its weight, I will not ask it to leave.
I don’t know when I will see you next
Will yours be the kind eyes of one of my children’s friends?
Will you hold open a door for me decades from now,
The recognition passing between us in a moment that will hold a lifetime in a heartbeat?
You will stay with me and I will carry you
But for now I will close my eyes
Not yet ready to face a tomorrow without you in my arms.
