Every Day Is A Sunday To Me For The Last Year
Last year has been rough for all of us. Always wanted a long vacation. Well, didn’t really want my wish to come in reality in this way.
How it all started
So let me give you a little introduction first. COVID-19 started in December 2019. It affected my country in March 2020. From the end of March, the country was in lockdown. Almost the whole world was back then. Life was unstable for everyone. Offices were closed, educational institutes were closed. But somehow people managed to start work from home, online classes, zoom classes. Somehow life caught up to them.
Here I am 21 years old waiting to get into undergrad for the last year. Now I was waiting to get into my desired Govt. University. The best university in our country. You can call it the oxford of my country. If not that then any other good Govt. Universities. The waiting seems to never end. In the meantime, I tried to take preparation for my admission test. But in a life like this dedication doesn’t really last. So here I am from the last year, with nothing to do.
Living life on Sundays
I started writing blogs. I tried to keep myself busy. When the lockdown started I tried to cook new dishes. The series I wanted to watch, I finished those. With time everything started to fade. after all one year is a long time to go through with no significant work on your plate.
It was like Sundays. I can get up whenever I want. I can do whatever I feel like. It sounds all good and nice. Some of you still might come and say why are you even complaining. I am complaining because it might seem fun. It was. Now it’s not anymore.
Even the things I could do were very limited since the situation in our country due to Covid-19. On top of that limited company because of social distancing. It is not like I can plan out fun days with my friends or family. The interactions I am having, almost a very big part of it is virtual. Human interaction is very limited now.
An idle mind is a devil’s workstation
The popular proverb ‘ An idle mind is the devil’s workstation.’ It means if you sit idly with nothing to do, eventually the evil thoughts will get catch up to you.
For me, the evil was my oppressed feelings. Overthinking, depressing thoughts got the best of me. Already I am stuck at a turning point in my life. Stuck for a long time. The pressure is increasing, my mind is just running wild with strange thoughts. Strange that is not in a good way. With every passing day, I feel more pressured. I deal with anxiety problems. So, this thing that is going on for me is not doing me so well.
The feeling of not being so productive is really hard on me. I also have other problems, my family problems, also self-doubts, and hundreds of other depressing problems that are either increasing because I have nothing better to do other than think about these or it is happening and I am not busy enough to keep my distance from it or keep it closed in my mind.
How can I change it
I am not sure if I can fully change this situation. Sure, I can try to be better. I think I need to set up a goal. My procrastination needs to take a break here. I have to utilize this time and make this count. Maybe learn a new skill.
So, I decided to write every day. At least I have to finish one article a day. I really have to improve my writing skills. That is one thing I need to do that I am sure of. Since I recently joined the medium partner program. So this might work for my motivation. As you know making money is always a good motivation. I am going to do some short courses on various sites about the niche that interests me like writing, or digital marketing.
I need to work on my personal growth as well. That is why I am trying to utilize this time to get to know myself better. Working on myself. Took some target to read books every day. All those books that were kept on the shelf thinking I will read this. Finally, it is time to read them. Not only novels or something that I like, the difficult books that were out of my comfort zone so they stayed back on the shelf. I tried before but procrastination got the best of me. This time I have to push myself much harder to achieve these small goals I set for myself.
Not only this will improve me, it will also help me survive this time without focusing on the negative thoughts and anxiety problems. When the time will come and everything will be better and hopefully the new normal, I will have some freshly acquired things that I can be proud of.
