Everything is meaningless
To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.
— Ecclesiastes 2:26
As I lie in a tent, in the middle of a forest, I ponder upon my life and what has become of it. Some might say that I am successful. Some might say that I have failed. But all might agree that I have made something with my life. I have a path that I follow. But does all this really matter? Does what some might say, or even all might say, matter.
Then how do I look at myself?
Am I the sinner, who has toiled hard and gathered up wealth so that I can hand it over to one that pleases God? Or am I the one who pleases God and therefore acquires wisdom, knowledge and happiness. When I look at the plight of the poor and try to give of my wealth and time, I do not feel like one who pleases God. But maybe I am. And when I sit and strategize about my own winnings and my next conquest, I do not feel like a sinner. But maybe I am.
Do these things really matter? What happens if I do not do these things? Someone else might help the poor. Someone else might get my winnings and my next conquest. What does it matter to me? Maybe I will not be remembered.
But who will remember me? Will it be my wife and my dog, who I shun when I work hard to provide for them? Will it be my colleagues, who I shun when I strategize and compete for my own winnings and my next conquest? Will it be my friends, who I hardly have time to speak to anymore. Who of these will remember me? Who, of these, do I want to remember me?
It does not matter that I do these things. It is indeed a chasing of the wind. It does not matter who remembers me, as long as I am remembered by God. I am both sinner and one who pleases God. And while I toil and gather up wealth so I can hand it over to the ones who please God, I pray that in his infinite mercy, God will look upon me kindly and give me the wisdom, knowledge and happiness I need for the few days I have on this earth.
