How Healing Happens through Self Love

and why we don’t allow our past scars to heal?


Photo by Janosch Diggelmann on Unsplash

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ~Rumi

Do you feel like you are living in a pattern of self-sabotage?

Do you feel like the past has a negative hold over you and is not letting you move froward?

We each live with many many scars on our heart and soul. Many we acknowledge, many we shove under the carpet of neglect while many others stay fresh and bring heart ache and pain so often it becomes purely unbearable.

What is the solution to this pain we either acknowledge or neglect? Why dont we allow our past scars to heal?

Very simply, its because we dont truly love ourself.

Photo by DESIGNECOLOGIST on Unsplash

Self love is at the very core of healing, wellbeing, joy, self-empowerment, and your ability to create and enjoy the kind of life you want. You cannot enjoy happiness if you are not at peace with yourself. Your relationship with yourself is the most important one you’ll ever have.

From the spiritual perspective, it is by turning your attention inward to yourSelf that you are able to experience your connection with Life, with God, with All That Is.

From the physical perspective, every relationship you ever have with someone else exactly mirrors one or more aspects of the relationship you have with yourself.

Yet, how often have you heard yourself say, “I am my own worst enemy”?

Self-love is a consuming passion for your own happiness. It is an ongoing choice you make to be glad to alive, here on Earth, in your own body.

Self-love occurs when you decide who you are and what you want is important. It is an inner state of being which develops as you decide it is all right to build a kind, sensuous, and meaningful partnership with your self. Self-love involves deciding to connect with your dreams and then supporting yourself with encouraging thoughts and empowering self-supportive actions.

How Self Love helped me to Heal:

“We are healed of a suffering only by experiencing it to the full.” ~Marcel Proust

21, bitterly heart broken, depressed, lost in the middle of nowhere, I had discovered positivity. Surrounded amidst crowds, I began loving myself…

Here is how:

As I began my spiritual journey many many years back, I came to the conclusion that I did not ‘need’ anything except love to survive. I had long given up on material and superficial wants. Its during this time that I began rekindling and acting on my passion to help people. I started doing a lot of charity work, social work…I just let myself be immersed in the crowd.

At one such place, while I was playing with a few kids at an orphanage, a little girl who was about 6 years old, came up to me and said, “Didi(means big sister in hindi) you are so nice. I feel very loved when you come over to play with us. Where do you get so much love from?”(this conversation took place in hindi, am translating it here).

The little girls question got me thinking…and made me realize that I had infact began loving myself, compared to how much I was blaming myself a few years back. This self-love had helped me love so many more effortlessly. My heart blossomed at this realization…after which my own little love affair with myself and the world continues to this day. Very happily so ❤

Self-love is…

Self-love is not so much a feeling as it is a decrease of self-doubt and self-disapproval. It involves an ever-growing sense of balance and belonging.

Respect, responsibility for self, and feeling good are important values.

Self-love means that your well-being matters to yourself unconditionally and in practical terms.

  • Who you are is more important than what you are.
  • You are valuable. Nothing can change that.
  • What you want always matters.

In Conclusion

When we are operating from a loving and healed space within, the negativity of the external world doesn’t fade our sense of self. Infact, it reinforces Love in the most beautiful way.

Our past scars need not be ugly and painful….with enough self love, they can be healed, beautiful and full of loving light.

Today, make a commitment to yourself to be more loving to yourself.

Ask yourself everyday, “How can I be more loving to myself today?”


Don’t you ever allow anyone else to convince you otherwise!

with love,

🩷If you’d like 1-on-1 counseling sessions and spiritual guidance with me, come on over here.



Zeenat Merchant Syal, M.A, M.Sc
Know Thyself, Heal Thyself

Psychologist & Spiritual Counselor who loves to write on Mental,Emotional&Spiritual Health while sipping on Coffee. 💌