How My Divorce Complicated How I Grieved the Loss of My Ex's Father

When someone leaves an indelible mark on our lives, we must honor them.

T Mann
Know Thyself, Heal Thyself

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A grieving woman stares across a lake at a sunset.
Death, Dying, and Divorce — image by the author (Canva)

Last week my ex-father-in-law passed away after a brief illness. His death was not a surprise; however, I was taken aback by my feelings about his death. The deep sense of loss came out of nowhere, and I became consumed in a sea of complicated grief.

My father died when I was seven; this man was the closest thing I had to a father as an adult. I married his son, and for 25 years, his dad was a large part of my life.

Divorce is a funny thing. When we get married, we pledge our lives to one another, and if we are fortunate, we gain a new family. I was lucky. I became part of a remarkable group of people and gained a father. Then many years later, we parted, and I no longer call them family.

It has been eight years since our marriage became nothing more than a memory in random photos. The divorce was messy, and I found life simpler if I kept my distance. My contact was minimal except for a couple of weddings; however, I kept up with "mom and dad" through my children. I constantly stressed the importance of my children remaining connected to this family.

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T Mann
Know Thyself, Heal Thyself

Writer, wife, mom, nana, and🍷 lover sharing life lessons and adventures of Self-improvement /Advice/ Relationships/ and more, one story at a time.