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How to Find the Beauty in Loss
Mindfulness, gratitude, and a new attitude balanced the sadness and emotional pain
My world stopped when a medical emergency befell my elderly cat two weeks ago. I paused writing, stopped streaming Netflix, and lost my appetite.
Everything seemed unimportant in comparison to Tara’s medical crisis. I managed to get her to an urgent care veterinarian the following day. They’re rare where I live in Hawaii, won’t accept every animal in dire need, and don’t work evenings and weekends.
My cat’s crisis seemed to come out of the blue, given her good check-up and normal blood values five weeks prior. But she was 18, and the physical body does not continue forever.
Once Tara was ensconced in compassionate care, I faced an excruciating decision.
Over the coming days, I also questioned my automatic emotional reactions and re-examined my beliefs about death. I found comfort in mindfulness meditation and gratitude in between bouts of sadness and grief.
At first, I cried and cried and cried. My mind swirled with endless thoughts about my options.
My sisters, two best friends, and ex-husband offered their unstinting support. But ultimately, I felt alone with his painful decision.
Realistically, I knew I couldn’t care for Tara in her compromised state, but I kept running possible scenarios through my mind. Although I’m not opposed to humane euthanasia in theory, I couldn’t imagine extinguishing her light, love, and unique personality.
My tormented thoughts mixed with prayers and mantras, my knee-jerk response from decades of Buddhist practice. I envisioned her beautiful being at the pet hospital and sent love to her through the ethers.
Eventually, I turned to mindfulness meditation.
I focused on the sensations of the breath. This simple act parted the waves of discursive thoughts and brought peace to my anguished being. It felt far better sending Tara love from a heart of tranquility instead of a mind filled with unending static.
When someone we love suffers, we may think we should suffer too in sympathetic camaraderie. But dwelling too much on our thoughts…
