How to Silence the Inner-Saboteur
Are you still punishing yourself for not knowing better?
“I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” — Maya Angelou
There are plenty of things I’ve done that I’m not proud of. Like most people, I carry the burden of mistakes I made when I didn’t know better. But for me, shame was more than a moment of embarrassment or guilt. Toxic shame attacked my sense of identity and poisoned my inner dialogue.
I learned at an early age that pursuing wants over needs was selfish. Putting yourself first is out of the question when your family is struggling to pay bills. I’ve held on to the guilt of being a problematic child, the pressure to exceed expectations, and the regret of not being enough.
As I became more self-aware and worked towards self-love, I realized self-care meant more than bubble baths and yoga. It was going to take more than a guided meditation app to stop me from self-sabotaging. I’ve turned down opportunities due to low self-esteem and canceled plans because of social anxiety. Negative self-evaluation prevented me from forming meaningful connections and experiencing the breadth of life.
