“I am fine”
Thoughts
“I am fine.” Most ambiguous and yet most commonly used three words. Really? Are you? That’s the first reaction I have whenever this standard response comes against one of the commonest questions asked. My suspicion is driven as much by the umpteenth number of times I have said this lie as I have heard it. But not only is it the easiest option for the person answering the question, it is also the most convenient one for the person asking it. Imagine, standing in front of an open lift, with the person opening up his emotions over the last few days, weeks or months. And yet, we continue to ask the question hoping that the opposite person does not give an honest answer. Whenever someone asks me “how are you”, I almost feel like saying, “Do you really want to know?”
If you do, then the answer lies just around the corner. Faint wrinkle over the forehead for fraction of a second, or a casual shrug of the shoulders or a slight movement of the eyes. It’s there; if we really want to know and acknowledge it. The remote working during the Covid days, without always having the video switched on has made my ears more perceptive to the tones. I can hear the curled down lips and the pauses that sometimes give the person a moment to gulp down a lump in the throat. That’s when you wish the person was there face to face. To give them a hug or a shoulder to cry on, if they are close enough, or join them in lambasting life. The distance and boundaries we create knowingly and unknowingly become the opaque barriers. Sometimes, when I hear the “fine” that I can clearly identify as the opposite, I wish I could tell them to take a break. I want to ask them to pause, so that they can find someone whom they can more openly communicate with. I wish the world was a bit more open and kinder place for a tear drop to roll down without shame and fear of being judged. I wish…
