I Am Imperfectly Beautiful
How is the definition of beauty determined?
I’m a woman. The desire to be beautiful is an innate trait given to me by my species. It is a part of my existence to constantly look in the mirror during the day, sometimes directly and sometimes sneaking glances at the mirrors in elevators or restaurants. I don’t wear makeup all the time or don’t go out unless looking good enough like Hollywood celebrities. Still, I want my visual presence on the earth to be appreciated.
Yet I often find myself in a much different state — a reluctant and protest mood. Sometimes I don’t want to do some of the things that all women often do to look beautiful. I postpone removing the excess hair on my face, or I don’t dye my hair. Even if the shirt button is broken, I wear it on purpose. Although a part of me doesn’t find this reluctance quite right, a voice from the bottom of my subconscious pushes me to act like this.
Why do I want to be beautiful and at the same time prevent it?
I was angry with myself for a long time because I was sure that my laziness and procrastination caused this reluctance. I’m a master at procrastinating on things I don’t like, such as distracting day-to-day chores when there are much better and enjoyable things to do. Naturally, I was confused with myself. What was the hell use of…
