I Feel Deeply — Part II

Put to rout all that is not Life…

Pic by Author — near Tropical Ants in Sayan, Ubud, Bali — January 1st, 2024

July 17th, 2024

I FEEL DEEPLY

On my way to America again.
A short trip for a few specific things.
But as usual it stirs up so much.

Timing is a thing for sure.
In these moments, at this time,
so much is happening in me and around me.

It was difficult to determine if this trip was direction, distraction, or disruption. Ultimately, and at the last minute, I sensed direction.

I decided to go Friday and was on a plane to America Saturday.

Meanwhile I feel so much.

It’s not just the trip, it’s Life.

She is loving me, there is doubt.
But she is also playing with me, stretching me, challenging me.

I can tell I’m in transitional moments, fragile moments, special moments.

And in the midst of all this, the relationships with the closest people I know are shifting and changing. All of them. I don’t know that it has ever happened like this before.

I’m not scared and I’m not full of fear. I do however hurt, have hope, as well as an anxious curiosity.

I am doing all I can to let it free flow (slowly) and without any expectation.

Let Life create it’s own “surprise”.

Meanwhile I feel so much.

I feel it all.
I feel the things in me,
I also feel what’s around me.
I feel people, emotions, and movement.
I feel shifts, changes, and the energy of environments.

My sensitivity to Life has been amplified.

I can’t help but feel everything so deeply.
I’m not looking to do that, it just happens.
It would be easier if it wasn’t that way, but it is.

The smallest things create waves of feeling in me.
And then I feel those things with a depth of Life rippling through.

It has occurred to me as I write this,
I have gotten what I asked for.

I just didn’t know this is what that would be like.

To augment slightly the words of Henry David Thoreau:

I went to Bali because I wished to live deliberately,
to front only the essential facts of Life,
and see if I could not learn what she had to teach,
and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.

I wish to put to rout all that is not Life
and learn to love her deeply, feel her deeply,
and become all that I truly and always have been.

And so here I am.
And so it is.

I feel Life so deeply.

Let go and LET’S GO
- jeff