I Find it Difficult to Let Go
It's ok to not be ok.
When your feelings are so heavy, letting them go drains you completely.
I never knew I’d feel this way. I’ve found myself at a stalemate, unsure of what I could do to avoid this. Even though it feels inevitable, it’s comforting to imagine a way to stop feeling so overwhelmed. A way to let go of emotions that seem stuck inside me, refusing to flow.
Sometimes, I wish my ADHD could sweep these feelings away like a sudden gust of wind. But even that breeze feels stifled nowadays. Therein lies the conundrum — where do I go in search of solace when the abilities I once relied on to escape these moments no longer work?
Maybe it’s the workload piling up, the stress I take on a regular basis as I pursue my career. Or maybe it’s the crushing weight of not meeting expectations, whether set by myself or through the eyes of my peers. There’s also the fear — fear that I won’t ever make amends with the version of myself I left behind.
Maybe it’s just that I’m afraid. But what exactly am I afraid of? What’s stopping me from writing these feelings out and letting them go? I’ve tried seeking therapy, but it hasn’t helped the way I hoped it would. Instead, I find myself dealing with a constant barrage of misfortunes that feel relentless.
You might argue that I’m manifesting this negativity myself. But am I?
Is that truly what’s happening?
Or is this just the way life unfolds sometimes — hurdle after hurdle, without pause or reprieve?
Perhaps hardships are nature’s way of teaching us — its best-kept secret.
Maybe they exist to show us the meaning of resilience, to force us to process what we hold dear. I’ve found that writing helps, even if just a little. Putting my feelings into words clears the fog, even momentarily.
I don’t have all the answers, and maybe I never will. But I’m learning that it’s okay to not have everything figured out. Some days, the weight is just too much, and that’s fine. What matters is that I keep going, even when it feels like I’m stuck.
What can I do to let go?
I’ve learned that small steps count — the courage to acknowledge the struggle and the willingness to keep moving, even if it’s just a little bit each day.
So if you’re reading this and you feel like you’re drowning in your own struggles, remember: you’re not alone. It’s okay to pause, to feel overwhelmed, and to not have all the answers right now.
The important part is showing up — sometimes that’s all you need to do.
And maybe, like me, you’ll find that even in the hardest moments, there’s a quiet strength in just continuing the journey, one step at a time.
The first steps are always the hardest, but when you can muster the strength to keep at it every day.
It will be a little less harder every time you take the next step.
I will try to do the same, regardless of what comes my way.
So will you. 👼