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I Forgot How Scary It Is to Be a Beginner, But I Showed Up Anyway

Stepping back into the pool and regaining confidence

Carly Newberg
Know Thyself, Heal Thyself

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Photo by Haley Phelps on Unsplash

Rarely are the things we’ve been avoiding as bad as we’ve convinced ourselves they will be, but I’m a queen procrastinator when it comes to stepping outside of my comfort zone.

To me, what ifs and unknowns are like monsters under the bed, which is why it’s taken me months to do something as simple as visiting the community pool.

Let me explain.

My body has been fighting chronic inflammation and pain for the past five months, and we don’t know why. The doctors have some hunches, and I have my own, but nothing is for certain.

Of the long list of things I’ve tried — both common and unconventional — nothing has brought me relief for longer than an hour.

It’s both debilitating and defeating, and I am desperate for answers.

Nearly all exercise is off-limits, except for gentle yoga, walking, and low-impact workout classes, where I use discernment to modify exercises. But sometimes, even those activities put too much stress on my body.

Recently, someone mentioned I should try swimming, which I used to do regularly in college.

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