I Regret Not Talking More Before He Died

Grieving what was lost and what was left unsaid

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My 28-year-old cousin passed away this Friday from an aggressive form of cancer. It came on without warning, and within six months, he was gone.

I heard about his diagnosis only five days ago.

The shock hit me hard then. How could this be? Yes, cancer diagnoses are unfortunately common these days, but what makes this especially tragic is that he had previously lost his mother and only sibling to an accident.

How does one wrap their head around something like this? I can’t even bear to imagine the magnitude of pain the father, my uncle and only surviving member of that family, is going through.

Hiking in a wooded area: Image by author

On the day I heard about his diagnosis, I was too distraught to focus on anything, so I took some time off and went for a hike. The physical exertion and mountain air helped calm my roiling thoughts.

I hoped that things would improve by some miracle, or perhaps I convinced myself there was still hope for a full recovery.