I Think I L*** You
A Poem Written about the Process of Moving On
god i hate it because i’ll say i don’t miss you
but i wish i could have your hand to hold when the world is cold and
your eyes to look in when i get bored
and you to think of when i sing pretty love songs
when you were mine you were the object of my imagination
when i thought of all the things we could do
but you are still the f***ing object of my imagination
i still get drunk on something styrofoam
I would make AI generated polaroids of you
To fold to my indulgences
I put myself in your path but turn away my face as if I don’t care
I see the receding shape of your back
That I stare at because I know you can see
I watch you walk past the place I usually stand and take satisfaction in the way you look three times
I wish you would look at me the same
I wish I had begged harder
and now I’m mourning the place for you in my heart
I want it to lie there waiting
I don’t want it to fill up time
I want to write poems that show how intense I feel even by a reader who isn’t
perceiving the emotions elevated by the proximity of the situation.
*ur so pretty — Song by Wasia Project
This is part of the book I wrote, which was, at first, a documentation of moving on. I noticed the way the intensity of my emotions tapered off, hence its name:
hhuanc.gumroad.com/l/taperingoff24
It underwent tons of editing and careful sequencing. It would be cool if you checked it out with the above link! That would motivate me to publish this :)
Thank you, have a great day!
