POETRY ON MEDIUM

I’m Sorry

I’m sorry I was your bad guy

Photo by T R A V E L E R G E E K on Unsplash

Before I begin my apologies,
For wrongs no sacrifice could cover,
I hope you know I really did love you,
I hope you know I still do love you.

I hope you know I always will.

I hope you know your eyes set my heart aflame,
I hope you know your palms were the only waters
That could douse those heady flames,
Those sweet flustering flames.

I hope you know why I always ran away,
I hope you know it’s not because I hated you,
I hope you know it’s because I thought you hated me,
And because you had every right to.

I hope you know I loved the rowdy rumble in your voice,
Despite your demure minuscule frame,
Almost an oxymoron personified,
You were my favourite anomaly.

You still are.

I hope you know you enraptured my thoughts,
I hope you know you were my dreams’ favourite,
That my mind ceded its occupations,
Simply to remember your smile.

But I know all my hoping is foolish,
Because I should have just told you.
So let me begin my apologies…

I’m sorry I couldn’t grant your pure heart’s desire;
I’m sorry I made myself so impenetrable,
I’m sorry I spent so much time putting up my guard,
That I never let you break it.

I’m sorry I told the truth when I should have lied;
Telling you I wanted to make this work.
I’m sorry I lied when I should have told the truth;
Telling you I thought we could make this work.

I’m sorry I gave you hope.

I’m sorry I was selfish,
I’m sorry I didn’t protect you enough,
I’m sorry I saw the end and drove us right to it,
I’m sorry I didn’t protect you from me.

I’m sorry I was greedy,
Because I knew I didn’t deserve you,
I tried my best to earn you,
I’m sorry my best wasn’t good enough.

I’m sorry I let that dreadful cat keep my tongue,
And never emptied my heart to you,
I’m sorry I tired yours out so much,
And let it run unending pleas.

I’m sorry I let my ears be so stubborn,
I’m sorry they never listened,
I’m sorry I tired your ears out so much,
I’m sorry they had to bear so many excuses.

I’m sorry my love became poison to you,
I’m sorry I let my incompleteness seep into it,
I’m sorry I corrupted its essence,
I’m sorry I corrupted you.

I’m sorry you were dying and I couldn’t see,
I’m sorry you were screaming and I couldn’t hear,
I’m sorry I had the cure all this time,
I’m sorry I didn’t know how to use it.

I’m sorry I was every shade of unworthy,
While you were every shade of perfect,
I’m sorry I ever made you reconsider your decision,
The best thing you did was leave me behind.

Aruchi

I set aside Friday evening to listen to Benson Boone’s new song “Pretty Slowly” and it would have taken every bone in my body to keep me from writing a poem after that. So enjoy this Benson-inspired poem, and on the off chance he sees this (lol), thanks.

xx Daphney xx.