Is It Love Or Dependency? | Signs of Discovering Soulmate Love
Recognizing when we’re engaging in subconscious habits to fill a void.
It took me 28 years to realize I was never searching for love. I was trying to fulfill a subconscious addiction that I mistook for love.
This was mostly because during my younger years(middle school — high school). I believed that my personality was not worthy of being valued.
As a result, I found myself seeking other personalities that have been deemed as “cool” or “popular” in hopes of gaining their favor. Specifically through relationships and friendships.
This was very problematic, especially because those “cool” personalities were the toxic and edgy type. I felt that if those types were attracted to me, I was worth something. I finally had value. And worst of all, it was artificially empowering.
Those connections were the only time I felt such a foreign yet incredibly needed thing. So naturally, I sought out more. That feeling insidiously stationed itself as an addiction, making itself at home in the blindspots of my psyche. So, for the longest time, I could not see why I was “attracted” to those toxic types.
Until I smoked one day. That time, I had gotten a bit higher than I intended, so I…
