Is Joy The Ultimate Purpose of Life?
Years of suffering helped me see it
I remember the first time I heard that the main purpose in life was enjoying life. Back then I was going through a period of severe depression. Words like happiness and joy were making me angry. I feel horrible to admit that now, but I hated everyone who was happy. Don’t talk to me about hope and love. You don’t know what it’s like. Life is hard and painful. People in the world are suffering. How can you even think that joy is the ultimate purpose in life? That’s ignorant and cruel. Also, I’m not some hippie who is high half the time. There should be something bigger to life than happiness. When I can barely find a valid reason to wake up in the morning everyone who talks about joy seems like a fraud. Am I the only one who cares about pain? There should be some kind of meaning, some kind of guarantee that in the end all of this would be worth it.
At that point, I got obsessed with figuring out my purpose. What could be a goal that outweighs all of my suffering? This should be something huge, something extremely important and valuable. I tried to live as if my big goals were the most important thing. It gave me the motivation to move forward, to wake up and get up in the morning. But unfortunately, this motivation lived in my head only. My existence felt empty still. I kept replaying one question again and again,
“When I die and look back at my life what should I do now so my life feels worth it?”.
And every time I got the same answer,
“I should enjoy it".
Years went by. I got better and my perception of life shifted. Somehow my definition of joy changed completely. This is not about that dreamy perfect joy. I realized that I don’t have to enjoy life in general, in the “happy movie” kind of way. It goes so much deeper than that. I can enjoy everything. I’ve experienced joy from all kinds of things. When I’m working I feel joy from every little detail of my work. When I’m scared I feel joy from the presence of fear. When I’m crying I enjoy my ability to feel and create tears. Right now I would describe it as “Joy is the result of welcoming life in all of its forms. Only taking 100 % of everything that exists would feel worth it at the last second of your life".
If you erase everything you’ve learned to think, you will see that you don’t care about goals. Future goals are more like a mind trick. No goal can be big enough to be worth a lifetime of suffering. There’s no one thing that can cover it all. Even thinking about what matters in life is wrong. Because literally, everything matters. Your life consists of every second. So, what is happening every second matters.
You won’t believe how much this world has to offer once you see it. Every second can be so rich. But what makes it even more interesting is that joy is different for everyone. I would describe it as “your joy is the way your soul sings”. You came here to experience your unique melody. Everything makes so much sense when you look at it this way, doesn’t it? That’s why some actions and people seem out of tune. While the right ones feel easy like they have been here the whole time. When the note is right you don’t have to question it.
Please, don’t doubt your ability to sing. That’s a crime against humanity. No one can take this away from you. Unless you let them. So, don’t. Your ability to feel joy is the core of your being. It’s the ultimate purpose of being. You can get lost 100 times over, but your soul will always lead you here.
