It Boils Down to Your Self-Story
It is the frame that counts, not the picture!
Our self-story determines a lot about where we are headed. It tells us what we believe about ourselves, and can predict how we may end up if we go down that line consistently. Whether good or bad, it doesn’t really matter.
Self
We all have different ways we see ourselves which can be shaped by our domestication [how we were raised], our peers, our environment and the media. We adopt and adapt to different mindsets, beliefs, cultures and perceptions as we have been presented with.
We embody these beliefs and mindsets and set a course for our lives with them. Pause for a moment, have a seat with yourself and ask quietly, who am I really? What are the things I say about myself? What am I capable of?
These are important questions we need to ask ourselves because it puts us into the frame, to let us know that it isn’t always what we show people that define us, but what we do when these people aren’t there.
Frame
From a surface view, the “frame” is just a rigid structure that holds something in place. Like the picture on the wall of your house, the frame of the doors. The frame, by itself, serves as a support that keeps it together, like everything that happens in between a piece.
Imagine you walk into an artist’s shop, what do you see?
— Brushes, paints, and art everywhere. Feels like a mess to the normal sight, but to the artist, it’s the beauty of his work. It is the integration of every little part that makes up the piece. However, if you walk into an art gallery, each piece of art is separated from the next with feet-distance apart, to give you an individualized and highly valued experience.
This is so to let you believe that each individual piece you come across passes a psychological symbol of high value and quality, with deepened feelings.
The same thing applies to your life. The frame is what keeps us together. It is what houses every single thing about us; what we do, say, think, feel, and how we behave. The frame can be anything. But think of the picture as you.
Self-story
What do you think about yourself? How do you see yourself? What does your self-story do to you?
Every action you perform subconsciously provides you with evidence as to what you are capable of and not capable of. If you tell yourself you will run for 20 minutes, and when you get to the 14th minute your body starts to become uncomfortable, telling you it is tired and should take a rest. The moment you take that rest, you send your body a message that if it ever gets tired at 14 minutes into a 20-minute run or whenever it feels any discomfort, then it’s time to quit and it is going to stop.
However, if you push a little harder and fight that initial discomfort and tiredness and push to 20 minutes, you send a signal to your body that you are not a quitter. That you keep going even when it gets a little tough. And you have a stack of evidence that you are who you say you are.
This self-story can also be seen in the many justifications we tell ourselves in our inactions, when we avoid difficult conversations, when we procrastinate, when we lie, and when we go against our values and turn our backs on the truth.
What we do or do not do to and for ourselves, we keep doing or not doing them. When we embrace challenges and growth, our mind strives to be in tune with taking up challenges and improving.
On the contrary, when we see ourselves in a fixed and negative way when we think we can’t be good at something, or that we can never achieve something, we drift into that path, creating our very existence on the story we have created.
This is why when we procrastinate unhealthily and justify it, we keep procrastinating, when we speak ill of ourselves or self-sabotage, we keep doing so thereby living in a dented reality. Counterintuitively, when we open up to the potentiality of change, we keep evolving and building a new reality. Opening our minds to potential mistakes and important lessons.
The way you perceive yourself, the thoughts you hold about the world both within and outside of you, the actions you take, and those that you choose not to take, all have a significant impact on your very being. They shape your existence, influence how you navigate through life, and ultimately determine the outcome of your journey. Therefore, it is important to be mindful of your self-talk, your beliefs, and the choices you make, as they all play a crucial role in defining how you live and how you end up.
What you do every day, how you spend your time and energy defines who you are, and who you are when no one is watching is what creates the frame of your picture.
Strive to not compromise your self-story. It is how you build your self-respect.
