Lady Lazarus

Love, death, and resuscitation

Photo by Mohammad Metri on Unsplash.

I died for three days.

My heart was cold;
the hole in my soul ate itself.

Mourning everyone I lost,
especially you.

Assisted suicide,
death with dignity in my mind.

“What’s the point of living
such a lonely life?” I thought.

“Is this God’s will for me?”

My body was at odds
with my spirit

My rampant denial
was larger than life.

So when she said
“If it were God’s will, you wouldn’t be here.”

I knew what that meant.

I was trying to take my will back
and doing a great job of fooling myself.

When my spiritual teacher confirmed
that the past has to stay in the past

I knew what I had to do.

Get out of the cave
and walk barefoot

The sun is coming out again
its crisp, warm embrace in my cheeks

healing my heart,
caressing my soul

I’m here to stay.

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