Letting Go

Surrendering to whatever will be

Image created with MidJourney by the author

Once again, I find myself thinking of you, longing for you, rethinking my words and reliving our interactions.

My mind races in opposite directions. I thought I showed you authentic love, but was I really holding you a hostage of my emotions? I thought I showed you patience, but did I inadvertently tried to control the outcome?

I keep trying to stop trying. There is distance between us, but you keep staying rent free in my mind.

We are no longer have a romantic relationship and we hardly ever did. The on and off rollercoaster took a great toll on us both. You say that everytime we meet after being apart, you feel a strong force pulling you towards me, but if we start seeing each other, an opposite force starts pushing you away.

Why am I still perusing it in my mind? There can never be a one-sided us. It is not up to me.

You are finally practicing getting in touch with your emotions, and this is truly wonderful. I only wish I was a bigger part of it, as I feel you slipping away. At the same time I am hopeful. You are still there somewhere, and I am still here, both within reach. Each of us take our baby steps into bettering ourselves for our own sake, but perhaps it will benefit our whatever relation as well. But as soon as this thought emerges, I try to remind myself, that the goal is not a better relation to each other, but first and foremost a better relation to ourselves.

I have my own journey to travel and take my own steps into embracing the uncertainty of love and connection. I practice actions to better myself, reminding myself that I am strong, I am grounded, I am powerful in my own emotions.

While you practice tracking and understanding your emotions, perhaps this is exactly where I need to practice self-soothing and the acceptance of whatever will be. Letting go and surrendering, enjoying the journey in it self.

Flow

Let the seesaw rock itself.
Let the river flow freely.
Let the universe unfold before me.
Release control.
Release responsibility.
Release regrets.
Just be.
Flow with it.
Enjoy it.

Thank you for reading, dear stranger on the internet ❤