Member-only story
Life Is Weathering the Storm
But we’re all here, together, so I choose to dance in the rain
We never really get there, do we. Running, chasing what we thought what bring us peace. Peace comes from presence; even in a storm, the only way through it is to face it.
It’s hard to face what hurts. The words escape us — those to articulate the emotion in our chests or what we truly want from life. The past intrudes on our thoughts like an uninvited guest who doesn’t knock, just barges into our home. So hard to let go, adding cracks of lightning to an otherwise sunny day.
Maybe the future will bring peace. When I’m done with this or when I get that. When I make it. But we never fully make it.
I battle self-critical thoughts, a component of the chronic pain that I’ve felt for years; I expect so much, and when things are on track, I’m inspired. But I lose myself when I lose my semblance of control.
I question if I’m doing enough; it’s exhausting. I treasure peace, and presence, and the slow pace of life. But I expect so much out of myself. The questioning and the doubt are part of the journey. I’ve realized that.
Perhaps at times we need to take our foot off the petal to reassess. We have to pause — step back.
We spend so much time going through the motions that we seldom stop to process life. That’s what I’m doing now. Taking the time to process my life thus far instead of pushing forward. I’m signed up for the marathon, not the sprint.
“The original departure into the land of trials represented only the beginning of the long and really perilous path of initiators conquests and moments of illumination,” writes Joseph Campbell in The Hero With a Thousand Faces.
“Dragons have now to be slain and surprising barriers passed — again, again, and again. Meanwhile there will be a multitude of preliminary victories, unretainable ecstasies, and momentary glimpses of the wonderful land.”
A small portion of our lives comprises crossing some finish line. More often than not, we’re just moving. Persisting. Surviving as best as we can.
“Dèyè mòn, gen mòn,” goes a Haitian proverb, meaning, “beyond every…
