Living Without A Memory
The life of a dependent.
How does one live without a memory?
They say adversity is the mother of invention. To have one’s life gradually taken from them, the fear of slowly being erased from the earth starts to set in.
Not only are you changing before those you used to know, but those you used to know are rapidly changing before you.
Who are we without our memory?
Habits formed are quickly lost. Beautiful memories are soon forgotten. I live in view of tomorrow, whilst forgetting today. While it would be great to not remember the pains of the past, what about the joy?
It's in moments like this I wish selective amnesia was a real thing. I wish we could choose what to forget. If that's the case, we'll only have happy memories, but this defeats the duality of good and bad that comes with life.
Unlike me, I have neither good nor bad memories to choose from. I'm just living while everything else leaves.
The Life of A Dependent
I have neither foes nor allies. Everyone is just who they are, people.
I am without faith or doubt. I depend on the goodwill of any and everyone. I just am. I have known fear like my shadow. Who will I forget next? What will I forget soon?
The questioning eyes of long-time pals, wondering why I seem so distant, is the last thing I remember before I sleep.
How do I tell them I only remember now? I greet everyone with a smile, enemies and friends alike. You never know whose hand you'll be needing soon.
Nothing hurts like the pain felt when the retelling of a shared experience from childhood or with family or with a lover now sounds like a tale told for the first time.
Hope Is A Risk
Dreams, they’re what I have when I sleep and during the day I go wherever the tides take me. I have love to give, but who will I give? Are they willing to go on fifty dates with me?
If they believe with me in the change that is yet, that this too will pass I guess I’ll be more eager. It will be less lonely if they have space for two. The life of a dependent is no easy road to journey.
